Internet Romance
by EvilAngelBB
Summary: UPDATEDit's better than it sound...it's my absolute masterpieceYAOI Something's gone wrong. Keiko's deaddon't kill me and Yusuke's hiding a secret. Hiei does something really stupid, and Kurama is left to clean up after him. Can anyone pull Yusuke out
1. Internet Rendezvous

**Internet Romance**

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho

**Author's HINT: **Read the author's note at the end...it may ease any insanity you get from this chapter, oh, and it will give a little warning.

**Chapter 1: Internet Rendezvous**

"Screw you Hiei! Go fuck off!"

"Hn."

"Back at ya shorty." Yusuke slammed the door and left his house behind as he ran down the street.

"Hiei, why did you have to say such things to Yusuke? You know he's still upset about Keiko's death."

"Hn."

"Is that all you have to say shrimp? You just hurt my best friend and now you're gonna pay!" Kuwabara growled at Hiei before summoning his spirit sword.

Kurama stepped in between his two feuding friends and held his hands up to keep them from attacking. "Kuwabara, go and take care of Yusuke. Make sure he doesn't do something rash."

Kuwabara glared at the little fire demon and then left the room following Yusuke. He ran down the sidewalk after his friend, following the flaring energy that came from him.

Back at Yusuke's house, Kurama was glaring at Hiei. "You should know better than to bring up that subject. Yusuke feels guilty enough about her death without you bringing it up every chance you get." He frowned in disappointment at the koorime. "I thought you had learned how to act. Apparently I was wrong. Goodbye Hiei." Kurama left the house and followed after Yusuke and Kuwabara, planning on helping out anyway he could. He left Hiei standing in Yusuke's living room by himself, feeling as bad as he could. He really hadn't meant to say what he had, and now he regretted it more than anything else in his life.

"Flashback"

"Kurama, can you find Hiei and then you two come over to my house? We have a new mission and Koenma says he needs to tell us what our mission is and then he wants to know what we're going to do. Kuwabara is already over here and now we just need you two."

"Very well Yusuke, I'll retrieve Hiei and we'll be over there soon."

"Thanks Kurama," Yusuke said, his voice staying plain and emotionless. "See you later."

Both teens hung up the phone. Yusuke went back into the room and sat with Kuwabara, while Kurama left his house in search of Hiei. He found him sitting up in a tree in the park.

"Hiei, come, we have to meet at Yusuke's house. Koenma has a new mission for us."

"Hn."

"Hiei," Kurama continued in a warning voice.

"Must I come to these stupid meetings with that stupid Spirit Detective and that annoying baka?"

"Yes you must Hiei, and if you don't come willingly, I'll drag you there myself." He gave Hiei a smirk that said 'You know I'm not lying' and turned to walk away. "Coming Hiei?"

Hiei scowled and 'hnned' again, shutting his eyes and pretending to fall asleep.

"Alright, you've left me no choice." Kurama sighed before jumping into the tree next to Hiei. He threw the shocked fire demon over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and jumped out of the tree, landing gracefully on the grass before making his way down the street.

"KURAMA! PUT ME DOWN YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! LET ME DOWN NOW GOD DAMNIT! I SAID PUT ME DOWN!" Hiei kicked Kurama in the chest but Kurama merely laughed deeply and continued on to Yusuke's house. Hiei continued hitting him and fighting to get loose until they reached their destination. Kurama knocked gently on the front door and stood still, waiting to be let in. Hiei was pouting red-faced on Kurama's shoulder, as Yusuke opened the door and allowed them in. He didn't even crack a smile at Hiei's position as they walked by, but just followed them silently.

"Yo shorty...HAHAHA, Kurama's finally trained you to be obedient, huh?"

Hiei glared death at Kuwabara and resumed his struggles to get loose and his insatiable cursing. "GOD DAMNIT KURAMA IF YOU DON'T LET ME FUCKING KILL HIM, I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU AND THEN FINISH HIM OFF! DAMNIT LET GO OF ME-oomph!" Kurama dropped Hiei onto the floor and moved to sit in a comfortable armchair. Kuwabara burst out laughing and fell off the couch, tears streaming down his face.

Hiei huffed and got up, advancing towards Kuwabara, drawing his katana as he went. He stopped by the laughing teen and moved to slice his head off. Yusuke grabbed his arm and stared emotionlessly at him. Hiei growled and tried to jerk his arm free, but to no avail, Yusuke's grip was too strong and was almost enough to cause Hiei pain. He quit struggling and glared up at Yusuke. "I won't kill him...this time." Kuwabara, by this time, had noticed Hiei's position and had backed away. Yusuke released him and moved to sit down, away from the others. The room became awkwardly silent, filled with a heavy tension.

It wasn't long before Botan appeared in the living room, her usual cheery, perky self. "Hiya guys. Koenma has a new mission for you and..." she fell silent as she glanced around the room, noticing the way the team of Spirit Detectives sat and how tense everyone was. "Did I miss something here? You're acting like someone just died."

Yusuke visibly tensed and quickly turned his face away to hide the look of pain that flashed unhindered across his face. Kurama noticed his actions, but didn't say anything, not wanting to bring up painful memories once more. Hiei was still too mad to do anything about it and just stared at the wall, not seeing anything. Kuwabara didn't see Yusuke's actions, but knew what he must have been feeling. He cleared his throat to try and ease the silence and then finally spoke up. "What about the mission Botan?"

"Oh...oh yes...the mission." She coughed lightly and pulled out some files. "Yes, the mission. This time Koenma only needs a little of your time. This demon isn't as powerful as others, but he is tricky. No one has been able to catch him and Koenma is worried about the trouble he can, and already has caused. He needs you four to capture him and bring him in if possible. If not, then just get rid of him, Koenma doesn't care exactly what you do as long as he's taken care of. ASAP."

"Do we really need all four of us? I could take of this demon by myself, and if I required any backup, Kurama could easily accompany me. The last thing I need right now is a stupid baka, and a depressed Spirit Detective to slow us down."

Kuwabara growled quietly as a warning, while Kurama looked shocked at what had just come out of Hiei's mouth. "Hiei!" Kurama squeaked, sounding appalled.

"It's the truth. Yusuke needs to get over that stupid ningen's death. Nothing can come from him sulking except a demon killing anything and everything in his way. She was nothing important to the rest of the world and Yusuke needs to grow up. Get over it Yusuke!" Hiei glared at Kurama and Kuwabara, daring them to speak up. He then turned his gaze to Yusuke who looked back at him with that same emotionless face. "God damnit Yusuke, get a fucking life and grow up...bastard. Keiko is dead, you hear me! D-E-A-D...dead!"

Yusuke didn't even blink at Hiei's comment and continued to just watch the others emotionlessly. Kuwabara jumped up and grabbed Hiei by his collar. "Take that back you evil son of a bitch." He looked at Yusuke before turning back to Hiei. His voice lowered dangerously and his eyes became murderous. "Don't ever say anything like that again."

"Hn."

"Kuwabara, put Hiei down. We need to concentrate on the mission and fighting the demon, not each other," Kurama said getting up and moving to separate the two fighting teens.

"Just cut it out, all of you. I'm sick of hearing you fight about me. Stop it for once and just..." Yusuke trailed off and sighed, maintaining the same emotionless look.

Kuwabara dropped Hiei and frowned, before sitting down in his place once more. Hiei glared at Yusuke as if he had committed a crime against him. "You want us to stop fighting?! _You _want _us_ to stop fighting. I can't believe this is coming from a depressed moron, who, might I add, lost a girl who didn't like him anyway. That's right, Keiko never really like you. You'd be surprised what one can discover when reading minds." Hiei smirked as a look of disbelief took over Yusuke's face.

Yusuke's eyes filled with anger. Kuwabara jumped up and grabbed Yusuke's arm to keep him from attacking the glaring fire demon. "Kuwabara, let go," Yusuke said, in a dangerous tone of voice.

"Yusuke, you can't attack Hiei," Kurama said, getting up and taking hold of Yusuke's other arm.

Yusuke glared death at Kurama and pulled loose from both of his friends. He faced Hiei and used everything he had learned with Genkai to keep his temper under a semblance of control. Sadly it worked and all he could do was shout.

"Screw you Hiei! Go fuck off!"

"Hn."

"Back at ya shorty." Yusuke slammed the door and left his house behind as he ran down the street.

"Hiei, why did you have to say such things to Yusuke? You know he's still upset about Keiko's death."

"Hn."

"Is that all you have to say shrimp? You just hurt my best friend and now you're gonna pay!" Kuwabara growled at Hiei before summoning his spirit sword.

Kurama stepped in between his two feuding friends and held his hands up to keep them from attacking. "Kuwabara, go and take care of Yusuke. Make sure he doesn't do something rash."

Kuwabara glared at the little fire demon and then left the room following Yusuke. He ran down the sidewalk after his friend, following the flaring energy that came from him.

Back at Yusuke's house, Kurama was glaring at Hiei. "You should know better than to bring up that subject. Yusuke feels guilty enough about her death without you bringing it up every chance you get." He frowned in disappointment at the koorime. "I thought you had learned how to act. Apparently I was wrong. Goodbye Hiei." Kurama left the house and followed after Yusuke and Kuwabara, planning on helping out anyway he could. He left Hiei standing in Yusuke's living room by himself, feeling as bad as he could. He really hadn't meant to say what he had, and now he regretted it more than anything else in his life.

"End Flashback"

Yusuke ran. He didn't care where he went or who saw him. He just ran. Keiko was dead and he still blamed himself for it, even though nothing could have saved her. Tears gathered in his eyes, but he impatiently swiped his arm across his face to keep them at bay. His feet carried him to Keiko's gravesite unconsciously. He stood facing the headstone and couldn't stop his tears from falling any longer. He still couldn't escape the guilt, the pain of losing her, the consuming thoughts that he should have saved her. He should have been there. He should have been the one to die, not her. Not Keiko.

He had known for a long time that Keiko didn't love him and he knew that in return, he didn't love her either. Instead, both cared for each other in a brother sister manner and their bond was as such. Every time he saw something that was linked to their past, to their childhood, he couldn't stop the pain that it brought, couldn't stop the sadness that came over him. _Keiko is dead. She wanted to see me happy. I couldn't even do that for her. I couldn't even find the happiness I want so much. The happiness I need so much. I couldn't find it. She died without her wish coming true, and it's all my fault. All my stupid fault. _

Yusuke's POV

The tears kept falling. They kept coming even after Kurama found me. I was still standing in the same place when Kurama walked up the hill to the burial spot. He just stood there next to me, offering me the comfort of his presence. He didn't know about me. Not the secret only Keiko knew. Not the secret I kept from everyone. No, he didn't know it, but if he did know, I'm not sure he'd be willing to come and help me now. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have Kurama near me.

He put his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I kept crying, right into his shoulders. He made soft comforting noises while I let go of my emotions and allowed them free reign. My sobs soon quieted, even though my shoulders still were shaking with all my feelings. I didn't move away from him, not even when I was completely calm. No, I just stayed right there, where I was cared about, at least a little. When I felt I could at least look him in the eyes without breaking down again, I pulled back and finally sat down, pulling my knees up to my body and trying to protect myself that way. I think it was time I told him the truth, whether the consequences were good or bad.

General POV

Kurama sat down next to Yusuke and put an arm around his shoulder to let the other boy know he was there for him. Yusuke sighed and turned sad eyes toward Kurama.

"There's something I need to tell you." His eyes betrayed his fear but he knew he had to get everything out.

Noticing the look, Kurama nodded and whispered softly so as not to worry his companion further. "Whatever it is Yusuke, I'll be here for you."

"I know Keiko didn't love me...I didn't love her either, at least not in the way Hiei thinks. We were brother and sister to each other. We could tell each other anything. She had this one wish during her life when she realized that there wasn't anything between us." Yusuke paused, not sure whether or not he could continue.

"Yes, Yusuke?" Kurama asked quietly, his hand moving down to rub Yusuke's back delicately.

"She wanted me to be happy." Yusuke's face turned into a grim look of self inflicted anger. "She wanted me to be happy, and I couldn't even do that. I couldn't be happy."

Kurama gently prodded, knowing that this was hard for Yusuke and that he wouldn't answer if he didn't want to. "Why couldn't you be happy Yusuke? You seem happy to most everyone else."

Yusuke gave a bitter laugh. "Of course that's how it looked. It's how I always look. I hide every feeling I possess. I'm always lying to anyone who doesn't care enough to look deeper. And apparently, Keiko," Yusuke's voice broke. He choked back a sob. "Keiko was the only one who cared enough, to look deep enough to see everything I'm hiding. Not even Hiei can see what I'm hiding, but she always could. She knew what I was hiding the moment I figured it out."

"What is it Yusuke? What are you hiding that no one else knows?"

Yusuke laid his head on his arms and tried to suppress the tremble that passed through his body, shaking him to the core. "I'm gay, Kurama," he said, not looking up from his place. "I like guys, and that's why I can't find happiness."

Kurama sighed, relieved. "Is that's all that's bothering you Yusuke?"

"Is that all?" Yusuke cried, sitting up and facing Kurama with an unbelieving stare. "How can you sit there and ask me 'is that all?' I've held that secret for years now. Always wondering who would listen, who wouldn't care about it, and who would. Keiko was the only one who knew. She didn't care about it and helped me in so many ways. I felt I had to keep it from everyone else because I was always afraid of rejection. Always."

"Yusuke, I could never reject you. And certainly not for this."

"Why not? Why are you different from the rest of humanity? Why don't you hate me for this? Why don't..." Kurama put a finger over Yusuke's lips to quiet his on going questions.

"I can't hate you for something that we share Yusuke." Kurama gently pressed his lips to Yusuke's in a comforting, reassuring kiss. Just to prove that what he said was true.

When Kurama drew back, Yusuke's mind began racing. "You...you're gay?"

The other grinned. "Yes Yusuke, I'm gay. I told you I wouldn't hate you for anything, and I meant it. Even if I was as straight as they come, I would still stay friends with you. Nothing would change."

Yusuke wrinkled his nose up. "But..." He fell silent as though he was thinking of something and then his face changed drastically. "Ahhhh, I'm so stupid. Why didn't I see it before? How could I not have seen what was right in front of my face the entire time?"

"What do you mean Yusuke?" Kurama asked, enveloping the other teen in a hug with a smile.

"I noticed signs. You put out signs I should have noticed miles away, let alone up close. I just never thought you would ever be like me. I guess that's why I never figured it out. I didn't think it was possible."

"Now that you know, are you happy?"

"No, truthfully I'm not." Yusuke sighed and then hugged Kurama back fiercely. "I can't be happy until I fall in love. That's how it's been. I realized that when Keiko confronted me at first. I have to find The One."

"Could you try and be happy?" Kurama asked, pulling away and leaning back to look into Yusuke's face. "For me?"

A shadow of a smile flickered across Yusuke's face and he nodded to Kurama. "Hai, I'll try."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Kurama smiled and hugged the other again, pulling him in close and holding him for dear life. Besides making Yusuke feel safe, it made them both feel cared about. "Do you want to stay here Yusuke?" Kurama asked in a soft, caring whisper.

Yusuke shook his head. "Staying here brings back memories. Memories only make me sad now. I promised to be happy. As long as I have you, I think I can manage that." Yusuke kissed Kurama on the cheek and then pulled back, blushing lightly.

Kurama smiled. "Are you ready to see the others now, or do you need some time before you see and talk to them?"

Yusuke sighed. "I don't know if I can forgive Hiei for what he said about her. I really don't. We were so close and for him to just say something like that about her, I don't know if I'm ready to talk to him yet."

"I know Yusuke, but if you don't talk to him now, do you think you'll ever?"

"Yes, I do. I will talk to him, but I can't right now. There's too much inside me that wants to hurt him, make him pay for what he said. But I don't want that. I don't want to hurt Hiei." He sighed and finished in a soft, almost inaudible whisper. "I never want to hurt him or anyone I care deeply about."

"Alright, we won't talk to Hiei. You can when you're ready, and not a moment before. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I guess I am." Kurama got up and reached a hand down to Yusuke. The teen still on the ground looked at the hand uncertainly and then smiled at Kurama. Taking the hand and squeezing it, Yusuke got up and took his place beside Kurama. Nodding, Kurama pulled lightly on Yusuke's hand and began leading him away from the grave and back to his house.

When the two finally made it back to Yusuke's house, the owner of said house was decidedly calmer. He was able to really think about Keiko without crying now. He could even smile about happy times with her, even those after she found out and they broke up. Opening the door, Yusuke stepped into the house and flicked on a light switch near the door.

"Do you want me to stay for awhile?"

Yusuke smiled. "Thanks Kurama, but I think I'm okay for now."

Kurama smiled in return. "Alright Yusuke. We'll talk more about you tomorrow, ok?"

"Deal. And who knows, maybe I'll even talk to Hiei."

"Only if you want to." Kurama leaned forward and took Yusuke into a tight hug. "Stay happy for me, you hear?"

"Promise." Kurama smiled and gently kissed Yusuke on the lips. The other wrapped his arms around Kurama's waist and held onto him tightly, not wanting the light contact to end, but knowing that it had to eventually. He flicked his tongue over Kurama's lips before pulling back. "I'll see you tomorrow Kurama. Thanks for everything."

"Anything for you Yusuke. Goodnight." Kurama turned and walked down the path to the street and then turned, walking in the direction of his own house. Yusuke smiled and shut the door, taking a calming breath. _Things may work out for the better after all huh?_ He decided to get online and chat for a little bit before going to bed. _Now to see who's on,_ he thought logging onto AOL Instant Messenger. _No one, figures. Oh well, I'll just go into a chat. See if I can find anyone to talk to. _

**Blacknight21 has entered chat Depression 101**

**FireDevil: Yo**

**Blacknight21: Hey depressed voice**

**FireDevil: Need to talk??**

**Blacknight21: U could say that**

**FireDevil: i'm listening**

**Blacknight21: sigh i guess i'm just not ready to move on, u kno?**

**FireDevil: nods i kno the feelin...wut happened to u??**

**Blacknight21: death of a close friend..u?**

**FireDevil: sigh i have one word for you...love**

**Blacknight21: let me guess, u cant find the person u want?**

**FireDevil: no, i've found him, but they dont kno**

**Blacknight21: ouch, i guess that could bring u down, **

**FireDevil: yeah, u could say that**

**Blacknight21: why dont u just tell him**

**FireDevil: i dont kno if hes gay or not**

**Blacknight21: your gay?? heh wry grin join the club, for me tho i cant seem to fall in love with any1, i just dont want to get too close **

**FireDevil: is it because of the death? **

**Blacknight21: yea, i dont want to get too close again and then turn around and lose them**

**FireDevil: u loved the person?**

**Blacknight21: yea, but only like a sister, she knew about me and respected and even helped me through it all**

**FireDevil: sounds like a sister to me.**

**Blacknight21: you have a sister? **

**FireDevil: yes and no**

**Blacknight21: ???**

**FireDevil: sigh its complicated**

**Blacknight21: i have time, and i want to understand u**

**FireDevil: really?**

**Blacknight21: yeah, i guess, getting close to someone, u kno**

**FireDevil: grin alright. she's my sister, but only my half sister.**

**Blacknight21: shes still blood tho**

**FireDevil: yea, but we're not close, she doesnt know about me**

**Blacknight21: surprised look why not??**

**FireDevil: thats complicated 2, it's all for the best that she doesnt know about me, it would only hurt her to know me**

**Blacknight21: i see, i guess i can get that, lifes is a dangerous thing**

**FireDevil: i kno that only too well**

**Blacknight21: same here, i've lost so many people to life that i sometimes wish to die**

**FireDevil: i only want to die when i see the one i love, u kno...2 much pain to deal with**

**Blacknight21: understood, u just want to rip your heart out cuz it hurts 2 much, yea?**

**FireDevil: yea, basically**

**Blacknight21: i've had that feeling a lot lately**

**FireDevil: your in love then**

**Blacknight21: i dont want to be**

**FireDevil: its 2 late, your hooked to whoever it is**

**Blacknight21: sighs i kno, i just dont want to be hurt, he hates me, i can tell u that rite now**

**FireDevil: how do u kno**

**Blacknight21: everything about him in the way he acts around me, its always cold and uncaring, u kno, and today...**

**FireDevil: yea??**

**Blacknight21: lets just say that i dont care to even see him rite now**

**FireDevil: that bad??**

**Blacknight21: understatement of the century**

**FireDevil: u serious??**

**Blacknight21: yes sad voice regretfully i am**

**FireDevil: do u hate him**

**Blacknight21: i've tried to, but i cant, i care 2 much about him**

**FireDevil: then u need to try and tell him**

**Blacknight21: i dont want to be hurt so i keep quiet**

**FireDevil: keeping quiet will slowly kill you**

**Blacknight21: wut about u??**

**FireDevil: wut about me?**

**Blacknight21: u need to tell the one u love 2**

**FireDevil: i cant do it**

**Blacknight21: and y not?**

**FireDevil: i know he doesnt hate me, but i just dont think i'm ready for it**

**Blacknight21: never been in love before??**

**FireDevil: shakes head never, i'm not used to it**

**Blacknight21: u still need to just tell him**

**FireDevil: your one to talk, u need to do the same thing**

**Blacknight21: i cant either**

**FireDevil: y not??**

**Blacknight21: he hates me, i thought we went over this**

**FireDevil: u dont know that for sure**

**Blacknight21: i do, after today, its a clear indication that he hates me, i didnt think any1 could ever say something like that to me, u kno**

**FireDevil: wut happened??**

**Blacknight21: its personal but i'll say that it had to do with my 'sister'**

**FireDevil: ???**

**Blacknight21: he just said some things that really got to me, thats all**

**FireDevil: no, thats not all..**

**Blacknight21: your rite, its not, but i cant really say anything more**

**FireDevil: y not? i want to help u**

**Blacknight21: i know, but, i guess this is something i can only talk about with 1 person now**

**FireDevil: who's that**

**Blacknight21: a really close friend...he's been really good to me lately, ever since it happened, and even before that, hes always been there for me, u kno?**

**FireDevil: do u love him?**

**Blacknight21: ???**

**FireDevil: the one your talking about, do u love him?**

**Blacknight21: i..i dont know**

**FireDevil: sounds like a conflicting heart**

**Blacknight21: confused thoughtful look**

**FireDevil: u dont really kno, do u**

**KissedRoses has entered chat Depression 101**

**KissedRoses: hey**

**Blacknight21: yo**

**FireDevil: wuts up?**

**KissedRoses: not 2 much, just really thinking now**

**Blacknight21: thinking hurts **

**KissedRoses: ??**

**FireDevil: i think its best if u dont ask, its complicated **

**Blacknight21: wut he said**

**KissedRoses: i've got time**

**FireDevil: sarcastic voice dont we all **

**KissedRoses: mild glare and eye roll i didnt ask for help from the peanut gallery, thanx much**

**FireDevil: excuse me??**

**Blacknight21: kool it, jeez, i'll give u the short version, me depressed over guy and death, him depressed over love and how life sux...u??**

**KissedRoses: i guess u could say the same, just a little more complicated**

**Blacknight21: do tell, we have time**

**FireDevil: i'm willing to listen to further misery **

**KissedRoses: shrugs shoulders i suppose, however to make things even, how about a trade, question for question**

**Blacknight21: sounds fair, i'm in...u?**

**FireDevil: i suppose so**

**KissedRoses: good, glad we agree, i'll go first, both of u ask me a ?**

**FireDevil: who r u?**

**KissedRoses: srry, i never give out my real name online**

**FireDevil: muttering and pouting figures**

**Blacknight21: y are u so depressed?**

**KissedRoses: my two closest friends just had a fight...one was really stupid and the other too emotional. **

**Blacknight21: life sux...ok, my turn, ask away**

**FireDevil: who r u really?**

**Blacknight21: sweatdrop i dont give out my name online..srry  
**

**FireDevil: this is not fair...**

**KissedRoses: why are u depressed??  
**

**Blacknight21: thats easy, death recently, close friend, insensitive jerk for a friend who i happen to love apparently...you kno, the norm**

**KissedRoses: of course blinks the norm...alright Devil, sense u seem so curious, wuts your real name??  
**

**FireDevil: mocking voice i dont let my real name out online**

**KissedRoses: rolls eyes smartass...**

**FireDevil: smirks u kno it**

**Blacknight21: are u ever going to tell him??**

**FireDevil: silence**

**Blacknight21: well???**

**FireDevil: i-i dont kno, i might...i think i will someday**

**Blacknight21: nods then i'll do the same**

**KissedRoses: confused look wut??**

**Blacknight21: its complicated**

**KissedRoses: i have time **

**Blacknight21: well...**

**FireDevil: to put it shortly, we both love someone, but are afraid to tell them, any questions??**

**KissedRoses: it seems we all have that problem**

**Blacknight21: ???**

**FireDevil: ???**

**KissedRoses: i'm in love as well, but have yet to admit it.**

**FerryMistress has entered chat Depression 101**

**FerryMistress: happy voice Hiya boys!!!!**

**Blacknight21: ??**

**FireDevil: ??**

**KissedRoses: ??**

**FerryMistress: really perky voice i think that everyone in this chat needs to lighten up u kno?? **

**Blacknight21 has left the chat room**

**FireDevil has left the chat room**

**KissedRoses has left the chat room**

**Private chat #14305570724 has been opened**

**Blacknight21: wut WAS that thing??**

**FireDevil: i'm all for satan**

**KissedRoses: agreed visibly shakes that was wrong**

**Blacknight21: tell me about it, no one should be THAT perky**

**FireDevil: that was inhuman...i kno some1 like that, she always has gotten on my nerves, close to the point of killing her, u kno**

**Blacknight21: only 2 well, i kno some1 like that 2**

**KissedRoses: dido...perkiness should be a sin, especially some1 that perky**

**FireDevil: nods anyway back to wutever we were talking about**

**Blacknight21: Roses was about to tell us about his/her love life **

**FireDevil: ah yes, the juicy part of ones life**

**KissedRoses: first of all, i am a guy, and from wut i can tell, both of u r 2, yea?**

**Blacknight21: nods rite**

**FireDevil: correct**

**KissedRoses: and by guessing further, i'd say your both gay, correct?**

**Blacknight21: nods rite again **

**FireDevil: yes, and if u have a problem with that, screw u. got it?**

**KissedRoses: testy much, damn. but no i dont have a problem with something thats true about me as well.**

**Blacknight21: nods i had a feeling**

**KissedRoses: nods and smiles of course**

**FireDevil: y is it that i'm the last to kno, huh?**

**KissedRoses: he figured it out, u didnt, simple as that**

**FireDevil: u kno, i'm beginning to like u less and less**

**KissedRoses: oh, how shall i survive without your love sarcastic voice**

**Blacknight21: ok ok kool it pleaz. your acting like little kids, which i hope your not, rite**

**KissedRoses: 17 almost 18**

**FireDevil: 18 **

**Blacknight21: 17, glad that we kno we're all mature adults slightly sarcastic voice now, pleaz continue wut u were saying**

**KissedRoses: the short version is basically that i love both of my friends...u kno, the 2 that were fighting**

**Blacknight21: ouch, thats gotta hurt **

**FireDevil: sounds like a soap opera to me**

**KissedRoses: and how would u know wut soap opera drama is like? hmmm??**

**Blacknight21: rolls eyes here we go again**

**FireDevil: wut exactly r u trying to say, might i ask??**

**KissedRoses: nothing much, coughs girlyboy cough cough**

**FireDevil: glares fire excuse me?? dangerous voice**

**KissedRoses: innocent look nothing, i just had something in my throat, thats all **

**Blacknight21: ??**

**FireDevil: u are so lucky i cant find u**

**KissedRoses: oh really, and y is that?**

**FireDevil: i could make your death quick and painless, but then again, i could easily draw it out and make u wish for death to come**

**KissedRoses: i've lived through worse, but whatever u say**

**Blacknight21: ahem...clears throat i dont mean to interrupt but....**

**FireDevil: angry voice wut??**

**Blacknight21: u 2 are acting like your married**

**FireDevil: falls off seat **

**KissedRoses: falls off seat**

**Blacknight21: wut its tru**

**KissedRoses: sweatdrop thats hardly the point**

**FireDevil: glares u are soo lucky i dont kno who u are **

**Blacknight21: that rite there teaches u 2 to learn how 2 get along**

**FireDevil: ?? swirly eyes **

**KissedRoses: nods yes i suppose i can see the logistics of that**

**Blacknight21: of course**

**KissedRoses: of course agreeing, nodding**

**FireDevil: sarcastic of course...can we pleaz find something else to talk about now... i'm getting bored enough to fall asleep**

**Blacknight21: ...**

**KissedRoses: no ones stopping u Devil**

**Blacknight21: snicker cough, cough, cough**

**FireDevil: glare do u have something to say??**

**Blacknight21: no at all, grin but your doing it again...shall i bring out the wedding bells, or will u learn to get along**

**KissedRoses: i-i-i-....**

**Blacknight21: smirks yes???**

**FireDevil: flustered i do not now nor will i ever marry a guy with a s/n of KissedRoses...**

**Blacknight21: u never kno...u 2 could be meant for each other **

**KissedRoses: falls off chair**

**FireDevil: falls off chair **

**Blacknight21: thats exactly wut i'm talking about...u 2 are so very much alike enjoying torturing the others**

**FireDevil: glares can i kill him now???**

**KissedRoses: nods no objections here**

**Blacknight21: i have an objection...but if u 2 wanted to be alone....**

**FireDevil: finish that sentence...and die...**

**KissedRoses: nods**

**Blacknight21: awww how sweet....your getting along now...u make such a cute couple...**

**FireDevil: glaring yet again **

**KissedRoses: if u will so kindly remember, i have someone/someones that i am already attached to**

**FireDevil: as do i, thank u very much**

**Blacknight21: snickers yea, yea, yea, all right, but it was fun to tease u guys...even made me laugh**

**KissedRoses: grin i'll admit even i found it amusing**

**FireDevil: nods it was funny now that i think about it, but that DOESNT mean i like being teased, got it??**

**Blacknight21: alright fine, no more teasing...all around might i add...now back to wherever we were in this ? thing, yea?**

**KissedRoses: nods it was my turn, so ask me a question**

**FireDevil: do they kno u like them??**

**KissedRoses: ah, well, ummmm, not exactly.**

**Blacknight21: what??? u cant mean that u havent told them yet either???**

**KissedRoses: nods wut can i say, i dont think they would like me, u kno**

**Blacknight21: sighs it seems we all have issues about telling those we love that we love them, ya kno?**

**FireDevil: nods we have issuses, thats all there is to it.**

**KissedRoses: issues, i'd say we just have fear problems, we all just need to tell the one/ones that we love that we love them**

**Blacknight21: easier said than done thank u very much**

**FireDevil: agreed, and from my end, its looking damn near impossible to tell him anything**

**Blacknight21: true, hate is keeping me from the one i love**

**FireDevil: uncertainty from mine**

**KissedRoses: all of the above i suppose from mine**

**Blacknight21: life sux, but there aint much we can do about it**

**FireDevil: nods we shouldnt complain about things we cant change**

**KissedRoses: theres no point in it. why whine when we could be having fun, or relative fun?**

**Blacknight21: exactly**

**Blacknight21: well guys, i dont know about u, but i gotta go. i've got things to do tomorrow and i need my sleep**

**FireDevil: k...talk 2 ya when i can**

**KissedRoses: nite...**

**Blacknight21: peace out**

**Blacknight21 has left the chat room**

**FireDevil: i should go 2, talk to ya later?**

**KissedRoses: yea, talk 2 ya later, cee ya**

**FireDevil: k, nite.**

**KissedRoses: nite**

**FireDevil has left the chat room**

**KissedRoses has left the chat room**

Three computers were turned off and three boys got ready for bed. One taking a shower to rid himself of the day's sadness, one just going straight to bed, and the last reading a book for awhile before finally going to bed. Lights were turned out, silent wishes were made, and soft sighs of sadness and wistfullness were given. Then all was silent as the world waited for the dawn and a new day.

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**Author's, monotonous, ever boring, completely useless, note: **Sorry to say this, if you can't figure out who's who, then I'll personally hunt you down and shoot you for being so ignorant. I'm sorry, because anyone reading this should know the characters well enough to figure things out. If you can't, try and guess. Sorry also about the OOCness, I don't think I could help it. I hope it'll get better, but I'm not making any promises. looks around Don't mind the ramblings of my mind...they're just there...now what was I saying again. Ummmmm...nope dont remember. Oh well. My point is, review or else...i dont update without 20 reviews for this story because I like it so much. Chao.


	2. The Internet Can Be Very Useful

**Internet Romance**

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, and that's all there is to it. Any questions from the peanut gallery...? No...didn't think so. Enjoy.

**Author's, monotonous, ever boring, completely useless, note: **Read the note at the end people...oh and review to make me happy. Merry Christmas to those who reviewed...and Bah Humbug to those who didn't. sticks tongue out You get coal in your stockings.

**Chapter 2: The Internet Can Be Very Useful**

Yusuke woke up, grumbling and muttering about lack of sleep. He looked blearily at his bedside alarm clock and growled as he saw the numbers in bright green. 2:33 a.m. _Great another night of lost sleep. Why won't the nightmares leave me alone?_

This wasn't the first time Yusuke woke up in the middle of the night. Ever since Keiko's death, Yusuke had yet to get a full night's sleep. He woke up from nightmares or from the feeling that someone was watching him. Always, he woke up with the continuing feelings of guilt and depression.

Yusuke rolled over and tossed an arm over his eyes to block out the street light. _Might as well get up, I'm not going to get much more sleep anyway. I never can get back to sleep after I wake up. _He rolled out of his bed and shuffled to his computer, turning it on. While he waited for it to load, he walked to his kitchen and made a pot of coffee. After pouring himself a mug, he returned to his room and logged onto the Internet, immediately logging into his AIM screen name.

Yusuke quickly scanned the chat rooms available, trying to find someone to talk to, when a familiar screen name sent him a message.

**KissedRoses: hey,**

**Blacknight21: morning**

**KissedRoses: wut are u doing up so early?**

**Blacknight21: cant sleep**

**KissedRoses: wuts up??**

**Blacknight21: nightmares...ever since she died**

**KissedRoses: recurring...**

**Blacknight21: yea, i havent slept a full night since it happened**

**KissedRoses: have you tried sleeping pills??**

**Blacknight21: yea, nothing seems to help, i'm thinking of getting my friend to make an herbal remedy**

**KissedRoses: makes sense, if that doesnt work, maybe i could help u**

**Blacknight21: i'd appreciate it, its been hard keeping a semi-normal mask up, u kno**

**KissedRoses: yea, i do. death definitely hurts those effected by it, but time heals all wounds, yea? **

**Blacknight21: yea, but sometimes it seems that time has stopped **

**KissedRoses: time stops for no man, but that doesnt mean it doesnt move slower**

**Blacknight21: y cant things just be back to normal, y cant i be normal?**

**KissedRoses: u are normal, the definition of normal is a set of habits, occurances, or a routine taken and done daily over a long period of time. you are normal for who u are. you may not be normal by some1 else's standards, but u are normal**

**Blacknight21: are u going to major in philosophy, cuz that was deep**

**KissedRoses: smile the definition is the truth, i've looked it up before.**

**Blacknight21: whatever u say, **

**KissedRoses: its true no matter what**

**Blacknight21: but still, frowns y cant i be who i used to be. i want everything to go back 2 the way it used to be**

**KissedRoses: u cant rewind time, dont spend your life wishing to redo something when u could be happy in the present. never live in the past.**

**FireDevil: hey Night, what r u doing up??**

**Blacknight21: cant sleep, hang on..**

**FireDevil: k**

**Private chat #14305570724 has been opened**

**KissedRoses has entered private chat #14305570724**

**FireDevil has entered private chat #14305570724**

**Blacknight21: hey again**

**KissedRoses: yo Devil**

**FireDevil: morning**

**Blacknight21: pleaz refrain from fighting...its way too early yawns**

**KissedRoses: nods i'm not conscious enough to fight**

**FireDevil: agreed big yawn wut r u guys doing up this early**

**Blacknight21: i couldnt sleep, nightmares keep me up nightly **

**FireDevil: that sux, wut bout u Roses**

**KissedRoses: shrugs and muffles a yawn i dont really know, i just couldnt sleep for some reason**

**FireDevil: nods i get that**

**Blacknight21: y are u up then Devil??**

**FireDevil: couldnt sleep, i woke up for no reason**

**Blacknight21: yawns hang on gotta get coffee leaves to refill cup**

**FireDevil: so y couldnt u sleep again**

**KissedRoses: i guess i have 2 much on my mind u know**

**FireDevil: thinking about??**

**KissedRoses: my friends, i hope they can get along. i hate seeing them fight, it really hurts me**

**FireDevil: have u told them that??**

**KissedRoses: no**

**FireDevil: then how are they supposed to kno it bothers u??**

**KissedRoses: they're not, i want them getting along because they want to, not because of me**

**FireDevil: but thats stupid, if it hurts u to hear them fight, u shouldnt have to deal with it, u kno.**

**KissedRoses: yea, but i dont want to interfere with their issues**

**FireDevil: u should if it bothers u**

**KissedRoses: and if it bothers them that it bothers me, then wut?**

**FireDevil: then i guess u all have to work things out, **

**Blacknight21: hey sitting back down i'm back**

**FireDevil: thats nice....just try telling them how u feel**

**Blacknight21: are we back on who we like and why we're not telling them**

**FireDevil: no, i'm just telling Roses that he should tell his friends not to fight.**

**Blacknight21: thats obvious, if it hurts u to hear them, u shouldnt have to hear them **

**KissedRoses: wut is this...an ambush...look i just dont want to hurt either of them, i care too much about them, u should kno that**

**Blacknight21: tru, but if its hurting u, do u think u should have to deal with it?**

**FireDevil: if they knew, do u think they would fight?? do u think they would purposely cause u pain??**

**Blacknight21: if they're gonna fight and cause u pain...and know about it, then they're not real friends**

**Blacknight21: heh smirk ironic...that's pretty much the situation i have here, u kno**

**KissedRoses: sighs well, i'm pretty sure that 1 of them would care if i was being hurt, but the other i'm not sure about**

**Blacknight21: i think u should just tell them**

**FireDevil: yep**

**KissedRoses: someday i might, but until then, i'll just live with it**

**Blacknight21: u shouldnt have to, but it's your life**

**FireDevil: we cant tell u wut to do, just advise...blinks we've known each other for less than a day, and yet, we seem to be able to talk about anything and everything concerning our lives**

**Blacknight21: except our names**

**FireDevil: nods except our names**

**KissedRoses: truthfully, i just feel like i can trust u guys**

**Blacknight21: we met in a depression chat room, meaning we all have issues and all need to talk about them...and we all have something in common...hidden love**

**KissedRoses: yea, kinda...**

**FireDevil: its strange...we all met by chance and now, we all have met 2 guys we can talk to, really talk to**

**Blacknight21: its helping me already, really it is.**

**KissedRoses: i'm glad, and its helping me 2, even if i dont think i'm ready to tell them, i'm glad i've gotten it off my shoulders finally**

**FireDevil: i know i'm not ready, but this has helped me see some options that are open, and i'm glad this has helped u 2 to.**

**Blacknight21: we've grown close in the past 24 hours...its amazing, kinda like with my friend, we hit it off immediately, even though we were supposed to be enemies...i saw his eyes and knew i could trust him...immediately, i knew we'd be friends no matter wut**

**KissedRoses: thats deep rite there**

**FireDevil: nods dont lose that friendship, and if u ever get the courage, tell him how u feel, if u realize that u do love him**

**Blacknight21: i promise i will someday, if i get the courage...and hopefully it wont be too late...the same goes to both of u, got it?**

**FireDevil: nods agreed, someday i'll tell him**

**KissedRoses: nods i promise 2, i'll tell them 1 day**

**Blacknight21: its done then, all agreed...it cant be taken back, got it**

**FireDevil: wuts there to talk about at 3 in the morning**

**Blacknight21: not 2 much, u kno**

**KissedRoses: yea, i think we kno, **

**Blacknight21: yawns srry if i'm keeping u guys up, but whenever i have the nightmare, i never can get back to sleep**

**KissedRoses: thats ok, i cant get back to sleep now anyway, 2 early or 2 late, whichever it is**

**FireDevil: same here...i guess it doesnt matter tho does it??**

**Blacknight21: not really**

**KissedRoses: if u dont mind, can u tell us about the nitemare, it might make u feel better**

**Blacknight21: i dont mind, i guess no 1's asked about it so i didnt really have to tell any1**

**FireDevil: u dont have to tell us if u dont want to, if its 2 personal**

**Blacknight21: i dont mind...it all just starts with us together, walking in the park and talking about me and who i like.**

**Blacknight21: sad voice, deep in thought, going back into the memories she loved going to the park, u kno, it made her feel calm and peaceful...made me feel the same when i was with her...**

**Blacknight21: then for no reason i turn to her...and kill her**

**FireDevil: wut??? but that doesnt make any sense...**

**Blacknight21: its just wut happens...i stand over her body and just laugh, like nothing happened...everytime i wake up almost screaming**

**FireDevil: thats really a nitemare u shouldnt have**

**KissedRoses: it shows a sense of subconscious guilt**

**Blacknight21: the guilt isnt subconscious...every second i have to live with it **

**FireDevil: ??**

**KissedRoses: ??**

**Blacknight21: i see her death when i wake up, before i go to bed, when i sleep...i was there when it happened...i should have been the 1 to die...but i wasnt, and she paid for it with her life...i should have been the 1 to die, not her.**

**Blacknight21: my guilt isnt in my subconscious, its with me every second of everyday, no matter what i do, it stays with me, follows me...haunts me**

**FireDevil: stop that, stop that now**

**FireDevil: unless u killed her yourself, your not to blame for her death**

**FireDevil: dont live your life blaming yourself for wut couldnt be helped**

**Blacknight21: but it could have been helped...if she hadnt ever known me, nothing would have happened...it really is my fault, even if i didnt kill her outrite, i still killed her by knowing her**

**KissedRoses: soft voice your killing yourself...your guilt is eating u alive inside**

**Blacknight21: i kno that, believe me, i kno it...the pain is killing me, but i cant do anything about it...i have to live with the knowledge that she is dead and i'm alive...and its my fault...the pain, u kno nothing about it**

**KissedRoses: i do kno the pain, i've gone through it...once a long time ago, i went through it**

**Blacknight21: a long time ago...that means u were 2 young to really kno anything about it, u didnt have to go through wut i have to**

**FireDevil: angry voice stop blaming yourself...u think she would have wanted u to throw away your life to guilt and sorrow...u think she would want to see u in this much pain...if she and u were as close as u've said, then i think she'd want u to live your life in happiness...she'd want u to remember the fun u 2 had together, and cherish her memory, but i dont think she'd want u to wallow in self pity and guilt, killing yourself day by day with all this**

**KissedRoses: Devil is rite, u have to try and move on, think about wuts good in your life now...in the present, not the past...cherish your yesterdays dream your tomorrows, but LIVE your todays...thats all u can do now....wishing to change the past only causes more pain...unneeded pain thats going to kill u...think about love**

**Blacknight21: love isnt real to me anymore...the one person i DO love hates me...i dont kno y i fell for him but i did...**

**Blacknight21: thoughtful silence no, i do kno y i fell for him....he's everything i'm not...he's stronger, he's faster...he's all around perfect...but i didnt like him for his perfection...but for wut he did to me...he made me try to be better, he made me push myself to be everything and more...he doesnt kno how much it hurts me to see him and not be able to hold him, not be able to tell him how i feel...it hurts...just like the guilt...my life doesnt mean much right now...cant u see that i dont have much to live for**

**KissedRoses: u may not have much, but wut u do have is worth it**

**FireDevil: dont throw everything away because 1 guy cant see u for who u are...dont give up because everything seems hopeless...thats when u should look harder and find something to fight for....something to live for**

**Blacknight21: there is nothing**

**FireDevil: nothing...? u say u have nothing to live for...? this guy u love..and your friend...what about them? what about your family and friends who would miss u...would u put them through the pain of losing u as well as your friend...they're going through the same things...lean on them...trust them with your feelings...if they really are true friends, they wont care about anything but the fact that your u**

**FireDevil: dont let depression rule your life **

**KissedRoses: he's rite u kno...u have your friends, your family...and u have us...you may not kno who we really are, but we do kno that we're alike...tell us your problems, and we'll listen...tell us your sadness, and we'll make u smile...tell us who u love and wut he's like, and we'll be there to tell u that he doesnt deserve to have your love...**

**KissedRoses: dont give up on us now...not when we just met...not when we are here for u**

**FireDevil: if u even think about giving up..i'll hunt u down and knock some sense into u...**

**Blacknight21: small sad smile u kno...life doesnt seem so hopeless when u have some1 to talk to**

**FireDevil: yea, we kno, believe me when i say i've been there before...life isnt as hopeless as it seems...**

**FireDevil: before i met him...i hated the world and every1 in it...i was willing to kill to try and ease the pain...he taught me how to feel again...he taught me wut happiness really is...now i kno that the world isnt the worst thing around...giving up is**

**KissedRoses: before i met them, i was about to give my life up...suicide seemed like a good way to get out of everything**

**Blacknight21: u were going to commit suicide??**

**KissedRoses: yes, but then i met him...i knew i liked him when i saw him...i knew my life couldnt end until i knew who he was...after i met him, i was still going to do it...i felt he would never care about me, so y hang around...**

**FireDevil: and...wut happened**

**KissedRoses: he stopped me...he found me just as i tried and saved me...almost died in the process 2 though...i never have forgiven him for almost getting himself killed for me...but there have been other times when he's been in near death situations....and he hasnt died yet**

**Blacknight21: sounds a lot like me**

**FireDevil: u arent going to find a near death situation and then make it a real death situation are u??**

**Blacknight21: no, at least not now...i dont think i could put my friends and family through all this again...and besides...i still have to figure out who u guys are first**

**FireDevil: then i'll make sure u dont find out who i am so u cant die**

**KissedRoses: dido...i cant have 1 of my new friends and accomplices in crime disappear on me now can i??**

**Blacknight21: crime????**

**KissedRoses: laughs never mind**

**FireDevil: i dont think i wanna kno**

**Blacknight21: well i do...i'm willing to stick around if u guys do**

**FireDevil: i think i'll hang around awhile...just to see where it takes me**

**KissedRoses: yea, me 2...u never kno when an adventure will come running to get ya**

**Blacknight21: dont i kno it**

**FireDevil: dido...only 2 well**

**Blacknight21: well it's almost 4 in the morning...i think i'm gonna try and get some sleep...i'll just see if i can**

**FireDevil: yea, maybe drowsiness will come after me after all**

**KissedRoses: yawns agreed...so i'll talk to u guys later..**

**Blacknight21: yea, u never kno when i'll pop up...peace out**

**Blacknight21 has left the chat room**

**FireDevil: see ya Roses...**

**KissedRoses: nite Devil**

**FireDevil has left the chat room**

**KissedRoses has left the chat room **

Yusuke sighed and got up, turning off his computer and heading back to his bed. He lay there facing the ceiling, staring out into nothing, and yet, thinking about everything. Kurama. Hiei. Keiko. Roses. Devil. Thoughts raced through his mind, playing tag. All were trying to get him to listen to them. There was something he was missing. Something he didn't quite get. It was right there in front of him to notice, right there to see, but try as he might, he couldn't figure it out. He sighed and rolled out of bed. He dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. Looking through his closet, he pulled on a navy blue sweatshirt and then pulled on his tennis shoes. He was going for a walk, hopefully to clear his mind, and to figure out what he seemingly couldn't.

It was still before dawn, but the birds were already awake. Most were chirping and singing to Yusuke as he made his way down his street. He shook his head and jogged off to the park. He needed somewhere to think. Somewhere away from everyone else.

He sat near a small pond in the most secluded part of the park. Hardly anyone knew about this place. As far as he knew, only he and Keiko had known. Now it was just him. He glanced in the water and stared at his reflection, noticing the consuming sadness that filled his gaze. His eyes that had once been a rich hazel, were now deep brown colored in grief. Ever since Keiko's death, they had been darkened in a sadness that couldn't be removed. Now that he thought about it, his eyes had looked that way for longer than he thought. _It's been because of my secret...I've been sad ever since I figured it out, and before then, because I couldn't find my happiness with Keiko._

Yusuke's eyes shot up from his reflection as he felt someone trying to pry into his mind. His gaze quickly scanned the trees surrounding the small pond and he easily located the small fire demon. He continued thinking, knowing the fire demon could read his thoughts only when he allowed it or when his defenses were down. For his purpose, he allowed Hiei to slip past his barriers and into the hidden recesses of his mind, but only allowed him to read certain things he was thinking.

_Why can't everyone just understand? I didn't love her and she didn't love me. We were brother and sister, that's all. I'm in love with someone else. I really am. Why can't I just admit it? I love..._ "Stay out of my mind Hiei," Yusuke said, appearing behind the smaller fire demon and whispering in his ear at the same time.

The fire demon jumped and lost his balance. He toppled off the tree branch and was saved only by Yusuke's quick catch.

Yusuke was flat out on his stomach on the branch with his legs wrapped around the limb and one arm reaching down and holding onto Hiei. "You really must be more careful Hiei," Yusuke said with a smirk that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Hiei glared up and tried to pull lose, but only managed to look extremely flustered when he realized Yusuke had no intention of letting him go. "Let go Yusuke, I have more important things to do than stay here."

"Then why were you just reading my mind? And I have no intention of letting you go. By the way, you do know that the only way you can read my mind is when I let you, right?"

Hiei's glare intensified. "How is it that you're the only person I can't read? And PULL ME UP RIGHT NOW!!!!"

"You know very well that I'm more powerful than you are. And one of my more useful powers gives me the ability to block mind readers. Try it if you want, you won't get very far. And I'll only pull you up if you promise not to run off and disappear like you usually do."

Hiei concentrated for a second, trying to read Yusuke and then growled. "I hate you. Now pull me up or else!"

Because Hiei was too busy trying to get loose, he missed the hurt look on Yusuke's face when he said that. Yusuke's mind was suddenly open to Hiei, who was bombarded with mixed thoughts.

_Why does he hate me?! How could I have hurt him so much?? Why? Why can't he just see what I hide so well? Why? Why am I the one he hates so? Why can't he see that I..._ Yusuke dropped Hiei and disappeared. The clearing was empty except for a lone fire demon sitting on the ground, crouched in the same position he had landed in, thinking...thinking about what he just heard.

Hiei wondered why Yusuke's mind had become suddenly accessible to him. Yusuke had said that he could only read his mind when he let him, but Yusuke obviously hadn't let him in that time. What had caused it? And where was the Spirit Detective now?

_How could I have slipped?! I let down my guard and he was able to enter my mind. I don't know what he read. I don't know what he knows. What if he hates me more than before? I don't know if I can take that too. I just...just...want to disappear._ Yusuke followed his thoughts. He disappeared. Out of the clearing, out of the town, out of the world. He disappeared into the Makai. Away from Hiei and away from the pain in the human world. Here, he wasn't just a human, he was a half demon.

Anyone who even thought to mess with Yusuke now, would most likely end up dead in 3 seconds flat or less. He wandered through the Makai, not caring where he went or where he ended up. Just running. Just trying to get away from all the pain.

Kurama knocked on the front door of Yusuke's house. When there was no answer, he tried again. After a few seconds he tried the handle and found it unlocked. Becoming worried, he opened the door and walked in. The house was silent. All the lights were off and no one was in sight. Kurama quickly walked into Yusuke's room, but Yusuke was no where to be seen. Suddenly, he felt a familiar youki nearby and ran out the back door of the house and there was Hiei.

"You won't find him here fox. He left."

"What did you do Hiei?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. He just left."

Kurama sighed. You know more than you're telling me."

"As do you, Kurama."

"What I know is between Yusuke and I. He told me in secrecy and that's how it will stay."

"Whatever you say fox."

"Hiei, stay out of my mind. Right now, we need to find Yusuke. He shouldn't be left alone."

"I know that. Believe me, from what I've already seen of his mind, he needs you."

"You actually got into his mind?! Never mind that now. Where is he?"

"You think I know?"

"Yes, now tell me. It's your fault he's gone. If he dies..."

Hiei stiffened unnoticably. "He's in the Makai, but I don't know where."

"Help me find him."

"He doesn't want me to find him. He ran away for a reason you know."

"I don't care. You're the only one who can find him. Right now, you should be able to read him thoughts. As vulnerable as he is, you shouldn't have any problems."

"One of these days, you should try getting into his head. It's harder than hell, and even more confusing." Hiei frowned, but closed his eyes anyway and concentrated on finding the missing Spirit Detective. "I'll be back eventually," he growled, disappearing to find Yusuke.

_I want out. I don't want to be here anymore. The pain, it hurts so much. Everything...it's too hard. I can't handle this anymore. Why does he hate me? What have I done? Why? Why can't I be happy? Why does he torment me? Why is it that I fell in love? Why him? Why me? Why can't I get over her death? Do I even want to? Why can't I move on? He'll never love me, so why can't I move on? Why do I have to be haunted with his image? Why can't I just find happiness? Why is my life filled with darkness? Why is he my light?_

Hiei's mind was filled with Yusuke's thoughts. They were all over the place. They moved so fast through his mind that it was hard to understand anything. He was amazed at everything Yusuke went though. He was shocked at the amount of pain that Yusuke was in, and was impressed greatly that he had managed to survive as long as he had.

_Why doesn't he love me? Why am I like this? Why was I chosen? Why was I so special? Why did I have to take this? She never would have died if I had never come back. I should have stayed dead. Everyone was better off without me. I could have avoided all this pain. All this sorrow...all this...heartache._

Hiei raced to find the Spirit Detective before anyone could take advantage of his weakened state of mind. He was worried about him. As much as he hated to admit it, he cared for Yusuke. Not that he would ever admit it out loud, but he cared deeply for him.

_Why can't I find happiness? Everyone else has someone to love. What about me? Why can't I have what everyone else has? I've earned it. I've been through so much. The pain is too much now. I guess I should have expected as much. I knew I couldn't live forever under this burden. Even I have a breaking point. I just wish I could tell him. I just finally want him to know._

He was getting closer. Hiei could feel Yusuke's energy in the air around him. It was flaring erratically. Every demon in the area would be frightened by his power, so at least he didn't have to worry about fighting anyone to get to Yusuke.

_Maybe it's better if I just disappear for good. No one would miss me. Well, Kurama might, and maybe Kuwabara. Hiei wouldn't though. He'd probably be glad I finally gave up. You'd think he'd eventually get used to me, but I guess not. I guess he hates me too much. Love is such a fickle thing. Hate is so much easier to deal with. Plain and simple. Love. I don't want it. Maybe if I died, I wouldn't have to worry about love. Maybe I wouldn't have to deal with anything._

Hiei finally spotted Yusuke lying at the foot of a tree. He had his eyes shut and was breathing shallowly. Coughs racked his lean frame as Hiei finally stopped in front of him.

_I think it's too late. I'll never get the chance to tell him. Heh, I guess it's fitting. I end up dying of a broken heart. Sorry Keiko, I couldn't find my happiness. I guess you'll have to hit me for it. You won't have to wait too long now. I'm coming to..._

Hiei leaned down and gently shook Yusuke, trying not to hurt him for a change. Yusuke's only response was to break down in a fit of coughing. His breathing was labored and he was burning up with a fever. Hiei became worried about his health and leaned down to hear Yusuke's breathing.

_Damnit, just when I was getting to sleep, someone just has to come and bug me. Whoever it is, is going to die, once I find the strength to open my eyes. It's much nicer falling asleep. I don't have to worry about the pain...until the nightmares start. But if I die, there won't be anymore nightmares. I won't have to wake up crying everynight, reminded over and over again..._

"Damnit Yusuke, wake up," Hiei whispered, trying to get Yusuke to open his eyes. "Don't even think about dying, you idiot. I still have to figure your mind out. Wake up."

_Is that Hiei's voice? Sounds like him, but it couldn't be. He hates me, why would be try and stop me from sleeping? All I want to do is rest. Maybe if I just ignore him, he'll give up and go away. The darkness is looking very peaceful right about now._

Yusuke's thoughts still raced through Hiei's mind. His eyes widened. Yusuke was really trying to die. "Yusuke, god damnit, get your eyes open before I have to open them for you! I told you, you can't die yet fool! There's still too much left to do. WAKE UP ALREADY!"

_Doesn't he ever give up? No, I guess that's what I like about him. He's as stubborn as I am. If I just tell him to leave me alone, maybe I can finally sleep. Yeah, sleep sounds very good right now._

Yusuke cracked open his eyes and they met with the worried, blood-red eyes of Hiei.

_Wait a minute...worried...Hiei...about...ME???!!!! That doesn't make sense. I'm just dreaming. He would never be worried about me._

"Just let me sleep Hiei," Yusuke mumbled weakly. "I'm tired. I wanna sleep."

"Yusuke!" Hiei looked relieved when he saw Yusuke's eyes open and then he became worried again at his words. "You can't sleep Yusuke!"

"But I'm so tired Hiei. And you're warm...mmm...very warm...and soft...and comfy...and," Yusuke broke off yawning, and then started coughing again. "Comfy...I can sleep peacefully now...night night Hiei..."

_I'm warm and safe now. I can sleep. No nightmares can touch me while I'm with Hiei. I can finally...sleep._

"Damnit Yusuke, if you even think about dying, I'll kill you myself!" He picked Yusuke up and cradled him in his arms. He disappeared to the nearest portal to the human world and raced to find Kurama, the only person he knew who would be able to help Yusuke.

_Hiei...I'm ready...sleep.....so tired....are you...there for.....me.....you don't....hate me....Hiei....I'm so.....tired...._

"Yusuke, hang on. Don't even think about dying." Hiei opened his senses and sought out Kurama's power. He easily found him. He was back at his own house. That's where Hiei went. Not even knocking, he opened the door and quickly shut it before calling out to his friend.

"Kurama!"

"Hiei...why are you...what happened...!!!" Kurama stopped short when he saw Yusuke cradled possessively in Hiei's arms.

"I found him like this damnit...just DO SOMETHING!!!"

"We'll talk later. Follow me," Kurama said, turning and leading the way through his house to his room. "Put him on the bed, carefully, if you will."

"If I was going to hurt him, do you think I would have brought him back?" he asked, laying Yusuke gently down on the bed.

"Take his clothes off."

"What?!"

"We have to make him more comfortable. Besides, it'll make his breathing easier."

"Fine," Hiei mumbled, turning away before Kurama could see his blush. Shaking his head, he tenderly leaned Yusuke up and slipped off his shirt. Yusuke coughed lightly and remained unconscious. He softly laid the teen down on the bed and tossed the shirt over his shoulder. "Is that better?"

Kurama looked over his shoulder. "Yeah, that's fine. Now cover him up. He has to sweat out the fever."

"Do you know what's wrong with him?" Hiei questioned, pulling up the covers and tucking them tenderly around Yusuke.

"Probably a build-up of stress, overwork, and something he picked up from the Makai. I just have to mix up a few things and he should be O.K. It's nothing too dangerous...I hope."

"What do you mean 'you hope'? Is there something you're not telling me?"

Kurama sighed. "Lately Yusuke's been really depressed, as I'm sure you've noticed."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"He might not have the will to live. The desire to continue living, I think it may have left him. Yesterday didn't help matters at all, you know."

"You're blaming me for this?!"

"In the short version yes, but in the long version, not completely. As I said, it's a build-up of stress, meaning this has been accumulating over a long period of time. You just happened to be the one to help him release everything inside of him, I suppose."

On the bed, Yusuke groaned and shivered. He kicked the covers away and then curled up, trying to keep warm. Hiei gently replaced the covers and looked worriedly at him before turning to look over at Kurama again, who was back to mixing something up. "It's all my fault then. I pushed him to this."

"No, you just helped. It was bound to happen eventually, you just brought it around sooner. Go get a glass of warm water"

Hiei walked out of the room and to the kitchen silently, still feeling guilty, though he still wouldn't admit it. Kurama sat on his bed and softly stroked Yusuke's forehead. "Come on Yusuke, wake up...do it for me."

_Kurama..._

Yusuke's eyes fluttered open and wearily focused of Kurama's face. "Hey Kurama," he whispered, coughing slightly. "What's up?"

"Yusuke! Thank God."

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" Yusuke asked, seeming delirious and unaware of what was going on around him.

"You don't remember anything?"

"Mmmmm…no...," Yusuke yawned. "Last thing I rem-" yawn "member was talking to Hiei. Noth-" yawn "nothing else...I'm tired Kurama."

"Yusuke, you can't sleep. You have to stay awake."

"B-but I'm so..." yawn "tired. Can't I j-just sleep..." yawn "for a little bit?"

"Kurama what do you want me to do with the water?"

Yusuke's eyes widened in panic at the sound Hiei's voice. His gaze flickered to Hiei. He whimpered and moved backwards across the bed in complete terror.

_Not him...not now...it hurts...._

Yusuke curled into a ball and stared unblinkingly at Hiei, with terrified eyes.

Hiei stepped back, surprised by Yusuke's response to him and the thoughts that continuously ran through his mind. "Yusuke, what..."

_No...it hurts...so much...make it stop...please..._

"Yusuke, what's the matter?" Kurama leaned forward and pulled Yusuke into a hug, rubbing his back and whispering soft, soothing words. Nothing seemed to help. Yusuke wouldn't calm down. His body trembled and shook with the force of his emotions.

_Make it stop...I want it...to end...no more...please....pain....hurts..._

Hiei stood just in the door of Kurama's room, staring at Yusuke. He still heard everything that ran through his mind. How could he be causing Yusuke pain? It didn't make sense. Why ...?

_Why...I don't want...this...it...pain...hurts...make it stop....Kurama...help...Hiei...no...don't hurt me..anymore...Roses....Devil...please.....help me...._

"Yusuke, please. Listen to me. There's nothing to worry about. It's just me. Really. Please calm down Yusuke. Calm down...for me."

Yusuke's eyes shifted to Kurama. Tears slipped from his eyes and poured down his cheeks. He nodded and laid his head down on Kurama's shoulder. "Kurama," he whispered. "Please make it stop? It hurts so much. Why, why does it hurt so much? Right here," Yusuke said, bringing his hand up and covering his heart. "Right here Kurama, here. Please, just make it stop..." Yusuke's eyes fell shut. He fell, leaning his body against Kurama for support. He let his body shut down and just gave in to unconsciousness.

_Hiei...Kurama...love...pain...hate...please...make...it...stop...Hiei..._

**Thanks and Comments:**

Faero of Egypt: Thanks for the review, I always enjoy reading what someone has to say about my writing. I don't know exactly where this is headed. It could end up a threesome, or I could have 3 different couples...or I could even have 2 couples at the same time...Did that make any sense??? Nope, but then again, I never do. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

Curry: Thanks for the review. I like hearing from people, especially about my stories. I don't know where this one is headed, that's for sure, but I know that it's going to be a big ending when I finally get to it...no matter the outcome. Enjoy reading and keep reviewing. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

Kit-Kit: Thanks for reviewing, I appreciate it. You get a cookie for getting everyone right...but do you know who FerryMistress was?? Don't take offense to this...but you think more than I do. Leave the thinking about the plot to me...I have no clue where this is going, so don't give me any ideas. smiles I have enough of those to last everyone around me. They will be talking throughout the story yes, but I don't know if it will always be in secret. There will be an explosive ending, I can tell you this now, no matter where I go with it. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

Shaolin Zelda: Die Keiko, die. evil laugh blinks Did I just say that outloud. I don't like Keiko... For some reason she gets on my nerves (could it be because she stands in the way of better couples?) I still haven't figured out how she died yet either...and I'm the one writing this fic too. shakes head I'll eventually think of something. I'm glad you like yaoi, and I'm also pleased you've chosen Internet Romance to be a new favorite to read. If you'd like to read something else of mine (yaoi lemon) look me up at My account there is under the same name as here. Maybe you read it before it was deleted the first time around. It's called Haunting Dreams...just a thought because you like yaoi and all. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

SW: Now that you mention it, Internet Romance is an original, one of a kind idea. So glad to know I thought of it. I thought I'd add a little laughter to the dark suicidal theme going on through the story, even though it's really not apparent until later chapters...maybe this one. blinks Maybe not...ok so yeah, dark theme lightened by of Yusuke. I'm glad you liked. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

Kamara Kojima: You get a cookie too. Congradulations on figuring them out...nice to know I've got a rocket scientist reading naughty little fanfics conjured up by a 15 year old teenage girl. sarcastic voice Don't mind my sorry brand of sarcasim...that's just me. I am glad to know you know enough about Yu Yu Hakusho and the characters to know who was who though. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

Skittles the Sugar Fairy: pouting Short review...write more. smirks Sound familiar anyone??? I'm back with chapter 2 and I hope you liked it. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

nameless: Why didn't you sign a name...any name? I just like to know who's likes my stories so I don't sit around saying "oh yeah, nameless here liked my story and reviewed" or better yet "It reviewed followed closely by them and then followed by that.." smiles Gotta love my sense of humor, ne? Just try signing a name. The only reason I've updated early is because of Christmas and the stupid holiday spirit, so everyone better enjoy their little present from me. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

Black Dragon Girl: You know, I thought the chat room was a good idea too, glad to know I'm not the only strange and unusual person around. I hoep you enjoyed the latest chapter of Internet Romance and if you liked it, read other fics by me at , under the same name as here. You might just like it..but remember to review if you read...or else...Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

forbidden kitsune: Don't worry about it, I'll be updating at mediaminer too. Just glad to know you like another of my stories. You better review for the second chapter...oh, and if you reivew multiple times, try different names for a change smirks You know exactly what I'm talking about...so don't even try to deny it. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

CassieCats: I'm glad to know you like their screen names. I tried to create them so they reflected who they were without making it too obvious to the characters chatting. (crazy, I'm the one writing it and yet I'm treating the three of them like they're real...I have problems) Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

Yami-hikari Kyoko: Finally, a review that actually says something to me. Yes, Author's monotonous ever boring completely useless note. I had to say something to get people's attention...or else no one would read the note in the first place. So I chose something long winded that would have people reading it...and wondering what I was smoking...smiles I'm glad to know you made an exception for me. I just wanted 20 reviews before I updated...guess I had my hopes too high though, huh? You totaled the number of reviews to , you made me smile...I fell short just by 8. What a surprise. When I write a story, I actually take the time to proof read it. I go over for wording issues and verb tense agreement...characters conflicting with actions I set for them...things like that. And of course I'm going to use spellcheck. I'm always preaching about stupid people with such bad grammer, that I'm left wondering if they've ever taken an English course in their life. I just wrote the chats like I would talk to my friends...though I was forced to change a lot...I'm just so used to writing everything out in perfect spelling and things, that it was hard writing in slang. Just a bad habit...or is it a good habit??? Yeah, a point for flowing...glad to know that I can actually write a story, that has a plot...that actually makes sense...and on top of that, make it seemless. I'm glad to know I can write. Go my creative mind...It just felt right that they should talk online, and yet not have a clue they are talking to each other. I'm not too sure of the pairing/s for the story yet, however, because you left such a nice review, I will tell you that chapter 3 is heating up a lot...steamy...juicy...sour lemon worthy...but I won't tell you between who...guess you'll just have to wait until I get a full 20 reviews this time. I think you might have been right about the flashback...I should have just put it in as it happened...but I had a blonde moment...so I can be forgiven...especially since the rest it good,ne? Yeah for me, keep reviewing and sticking around for more. Just a hint, I may have to edit chapter 3 to fit withing 's rules. I've been kicked off here once for Haunting Dreams and I'm not looking to go through it again. In case I have to do that, look me up at for the full version. I'm there under the same name. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

**Author's, monotonous, ever boring, completely useless, note part 1: **You had better be on your knees thanking me that I'm in the stupid holiday spirit, or I would have made all of you wait longer. Stupid people who read and refuse to review. glares at the non-reviewers Thank you once again to those who have reviewed. This chapter is for all of you, not anyone else. As proof that you've read my replys to you, make a comment when you review again. That way, I'll know if you're paying attention to what I have to say...or not. Merry Christmas to you reviewers and Bah Humbug to you evil to you I say, coal.

**Author's, monotonous, ever boring, completely useless, note part 2: **You hate me, you hate me not...you hate me, you hate me not...you hate me....of course you do. Sorry for leaving off at such a place, but you know the saying...always leave em wanting more. So have I left you wanting more? You know it. Same drill as last time. 20 brand new, completely exciting, totally retro reviews or I don't update...and I know how much you'd all hate me for that, now wouldn't you? Peace out, and hope you enjoyed reading the newest chapter of Internet Romance. Now REVIEW OR ELSE.


	3. Internet Search Engine

**Internet Romance**

Disclaimer: I still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, so don't even think about saying I do.

**Chapter 3: Internet Search Engine**

_What am I doing here? How did I even get here? The last thing I remember was...Hiei, and Kurama. Hiei, I was trying to get away from him. He was going to hurt me. Yusuke wrinkled his face. I was already hurting. He hates me, that's why. But, why isn't there any pain here? I...I can't feel...anything. Love, hate, happiness, sadness...it's all gone. Am I...dead? Did I finally die? _

Yusuke looked around him. He was back in the park, near the pond. He remembered leaving it early that morning. Or..._Is it still the same day? _He looked around. Hiei was nowhere to be seen. The sun was shining, but Yusuke couldn't feel the warmth. The wind was blowing, but he couldn't feel it as it touched his skin. There was no sound at all. No birds, no animals, no...nothing. Everything was all wrong to Yusuke. All wrong.

_What is this place? Did I really die? If so, I want to go somewhere else. This place is too...wrong. It's nothing like I wanted. Where's Keiko? If I'm really dead, why isn't Keiko here? Where is everyone? I want out, and I want out now._

_"Let me out. I want to go home." _

"You are home Yusuke."

Yusuke spun around and faced the person who had spoken to him. It was none other than Kurama.

"Kurama, what...what do you mean, 'I am home?' How can I be home?"

"Don't you see, this is your home now Yusuke."

"No...that can't be right. This isn't where I belong. Kurama, let me go back. I want to go back now."

"You can't go back Yusuke," a second voice said. Keiko walked up next to Kurama.

"K-Keiko...?"

"Yes, it's me Yusuke."

"It's so good to see you Keiko...it's been too long..." Yusuke ran to give Keiko a hug but went right through her. When he turned around to see where she had gone...he saw Keiko lying on the ground in a pool of blood. The scene had changed. They were in the Makai.

Yusuke ran over to Keiko. He pulled her into his arms and laid her head in his lap. Tears fell from his closed eyes as he rocked her body gently.

Kurama came up behind him. "Yusuke...what happened?"

"I don't know, I just found her like this," Yusuke replied, his voice cracking with his tears.

"I know what happened," another voice said, entering the silence. "He killed her Kurama. He did it with his own two hands."

"Hiei, what are you talking about...? Who killed Keiko?"

"Yusuke killed her."

Yusuke shot straight up in the bed. He looked around, breathing erratically for a few seconds. He closed his eyes, and began to cry. The nightmare had changed.

_Just...make it stop. Yusuke was up and out of the bed in seconds. He opened the nearby window and crawled out of it. He didn't think he could deal with Kurama right now, and he knew he couldn't see Hiei. He still didn't know what the fire demon had read from his mind. He sighed, landing softly on the ground, and silently made his way away from the house._

He made it around the corner of the street before he was caught. Hiei appeared out of nowhere and stood calmly in front of the escaping teen.

"You shouldn't be up Yusuke."

"What do you care Hiei?" Yusuke brushed past and continued on his way. "You hate me, shouldn't you be glad I might be dying of some unknown illness?" he tossed over his shoulder. "Just leave me alone."

"Yusuke," Hiei said calmly.

Yusuke turned around. It was only his fast reflexes that stopped the black rose from touching the ground. When he looked up from the delicate flower, Hiei was nowhere to be seen. He looked down at the flower again, wondering what was up with Hiei.

_He knows something. He heard it in my mind. Roses. He heard about Roses. What else does he know? If he's read any further into my thoughts, then he knows everything. He'd have definitely figured it out. Where's some place to disappear? The Makai is out of the question; Hiei can easily find me there. Besides, with my power being virtually gone, I don't think that's a good place to go. Somewhere here. The park? No, Hiei can find me there too. Keiko's grave? Kurama would look there. Where is somewhere they'd never think to look?_

A light went off in Yusuke's head. _Of course. Why didn't I think of it sooner?_ He took off running to a place not even Kurama would think of. _The school._

Yusuke easily jumped the fence enclosing the school for the summer. He shook his head at the memories that flooded over him. Sighing, Yusuke climbed to the roof of the school. He sat down against the door to the staircase and looked up. The sun was setting, and the sky ahead of him was flushed yellow, orange, and neon pink, before fading off into purple and navy blue. He could just see the first star of the night shine. Smiling wistfully, he made a wish.

_I wish love would find me. The thought was barely through his mind before he heard a voice calling his name._

"Yusuke!"

_Shit, it's Kurama! How the hell did he find me so fast! Yusuke's eyes narrowed. Damnit...Hiei...without strength, I can't keep him out of my head. But shit, what does it matter if I go off and disappear? He hates me, so why in the hell would he tell Kurama where to find me?_

"Yusuke! I know you're here somewhere!"

The voice had gotten louder. Yusuke sighed and stood up, eyes focused once more on the sunset before him. The sun had almost disappeared beneath the horizon. The sky was blood red. A sign of things to come. He shook his head. _Might as well get this over with._

He walked to the side of the roof and looked down. There was Kurama, in all his beauty. His face was marred only by a worried expression and tears in his eyes. Yusuke's heart dropped. _I made Kurama cry_. "Up here Kurama."

The redhead below looked directly up and spotted Yusuke's form against the sky. He sighed and quickly joined his friend. He wrapped his arms around Yusuke and hugged him fiercely.

"Don't ever do that again Yusuke," Kurama said, in a voice that shook with repressed tears.

Yusuke wrapped his arms around his friend. He rubbed his back and tried to calm him down. "I won't Kurama. I promise. I won't leave you."

Kurama pulled back and looked at Yusuke with a tear stained face. "If you ever worry me like that again..."

"I won't Kurama, I won't."

"You mean so much to me Yusuke. I just don't want anything to happen to you."

"Nothing will. I'm fine Kurama, really, I just need to be alone for awhile, that's all."

"You won't do anything stupid will you?"

Yusuke smiled and leaned in, kissing Kurama lightly. "Promise."

Kurama smiled and moved back. He nodded and moved to the edge of the roof. "I'll wait until you're ready to talk."

"I'll talk to you as soon as I feel I can. Don't worry, nothing will happen."

Kurama nodded and disappeared over the side of the roof. Yusuke sighed and turned away, going back to sit down. The sun was long gone now, leaving only a pale purple on the horizon. Yusuke sighed and looked up. The stars were now clearly visible. Yusuke looked, nothing more, just looked. He leaned back and lay down, lifting the black rose to his lips. He gently kissed the delicate petals and breathed in the heavenly smell of the flower.

_Roses...will I ever really know? Will I ever figure out who you are? And Devil. What about you? Will I ever find out who you really are? There's something about you two that I'm missing. Something I should really know. It's right there for me to see. You seem so much like..._

Yusuke sat up. He had it. That was what had bothered him so much. They were too much alike. _Hiei...Kurama...you two are...Fire Devil and Kissed Roses. It makes so much sense now. How could I not see it before! _

Yusuke grinned, then froze as he realized something else..._Kurama likes us both! Hiei...likes Kurama..._It was the only logical conclusion Yusuke could come up with. He felt his heart break again. Hiei loved Kurama, and Kurama loved Hiei. He sighed, knowing it was only right. If Hiei could be happy with Kurama, then that's what Yusuke wanted. He loved the fire demon so much, he would stand back and let his heart break to see him happy. "Ironic..." He looked at the black rose sitting in his hand. _Black. Just like my life. How appropriate._

Yusuke was about to jump off the building when he remembered his strength, or lack there of, and decided climbing would definitely be better. Carefully, he slipped down the drain and landed easily on the ground with a soft thump. Sighing, Yusuke walked to his house, not Kurama's. He didn't know if he could talk to him yet. He flicked on his computer and got on the Internet. He saw a familiar name on his Buddy List and sent him a message.

**Blacknight21: Hey**

**FireDevil: hey, wuts up?**

**Blacknight21: not too much, just trying to calm down**

**FireDevil?**

**Blacknight21: its nothing **

**FireDevil: u cant lie to me u kno**

**Blacknight21: yea well, i had to try**

**FireDevil: y? i'm not here to judge u**

**Blacknight21: i kno, but i'm still getting used to this whole, "share-everything-i'm-thinking" thing**

**FireDevil: well, u dont have to tell me everything, just tell me wuts wrong and i'll try and help**

**Blacknight21: sighs its about him**

**FireDevil: which one**

**Blacknight21: the one i love**

**FireDevil: did u tell him**

**Blacknight21: no...i cant **

**FireDevil: y not**

**Blacknight21: he already loves someone else**

**FireDevil!**

**Blacknight21: my thoughts exactly mixed with thoughts of suicide and complete and total depression**

**FireDevil: u should have told him anyway**

**Blacknight21: and do wut...watch as he laughed in my face...i couldnt do it...and then...**

**FireDevil: then wut...what else could possibly have happened to make things worse than they already are?**

**Blacknight21: he's in love with my friend**

**FireDevil: the 1 u thought u might have liked**

**Blacknight21: 1 and the same...and to make matters worse...he likes him back**

**FireDevil: seems to me like neither of them deserve u**

**Blacknight21: dont say that...i'm the one who doesnt deserve either of them...but enough of that...tell me about the one u love**

**FireDevil: frowns but sighs and gives in anyway thoughtful silence**

**Blacknight21: yea?**

**FireDevil: he's...thoughtful...he usually cares about everyone but himself...he makes decisions with his heart more often than his head...he's impulsive and he can be stubborn when he wants to...**

**Blacknight21: sounds a little like me**

**FireDevil: maybe, but from what i've seen...Roses is a lot like him**

**Blacknight21: grins i told u, u 2 could be meant for each other**

**FireDevil: glares are u really going to get back to that**

**Blacknight21: no, but i just like to prove my point**

**FireDevil: point taken...wut are u going to do about it**

**Blacknight21: about wut?**

**FireDevil: him and him**

**Blacknight21: nothing...**

**FireDevil?**

**Blacknight21: there's nothing i can do...they like each other...y shouldnt i let them be happy...**

**FireDevil: because it'll hurt u to see it**

**Blacknight21: i can live with that..believe me, i'd do anything to make them both happy...even if it means losing both of them forever**

**FireDevil: u really do love them both**

**Blacknight21: yea, i do...more than i even thought possible**

**FireDevil: maybe if u tell them, they'll surprise you**

**Blacknight21: highly unlikely**

**FireDevil: maybe, but not impossible**

**Blacknight21: it isnt worth the pain...if i tell them, they might not care...or they'll hate me for it...i dont think i could handle that 2...**

**FireDevil: you'll never kno until u try**

**Blacknight21: yea, and i'll never try because of the pain**

**Blacknight21 is not currently logged on.**

**Yusuke sighed and shook his head, trying to fight the tears in his eyes. He had already known, so why did it hurt? He shut down his computer and left his room. He hadn't eaten in two days, but he had yet to feel hungry. Wiping his eyes of the unshed tears, he went outside and climbed to the roof. He shivered slightly against the cold, realizing that coming outside now without a shirt on was stupid. He leaned back and stared at the sky, not seeing anything. He didn't feel anything anymore either, now that he thought about it. Yusuke's eyes drifted shut and before he knew it, he had fallen asleep. **

Yusuke jolted awake. The nightmare had already come back. Laying his head in his hands, he tried to keep back the tears that came with the memory of the continuing nightmare. His shoulders shook as he repressed his emotions and sat up. He was freezing. Looking around, he realized he was still on the roof of his house. He glanced at the sky and guessed he had been asleep maybe 2 hours. Wiping his arm across his eyes, he stood up, quickly falling back down. Yusuke gasped at the pain that riddled his body. He frowned. He shouldn't be this weak. He struggled to his feet, wrapping an arm around his stomach to keep himself from collapsing again.

He breathed shakily and closed his eyes, willing the dizziness to leave his body, enabling him to get back down from the roof. He shook his head, clearing his mind, and opened his eyes, glancing around. He walked jerkily to the edge of the roof and glanced at the tree sitting near him. Sighing and hoping for the best, he jumped to the nearest branch, landing gracefully on it. He groaned and crouched, closing his eyes immediately, hoping for the world to stop spinning. He slipped down to sit stiffly on the branch, until he thought he could move without collapsing again. He glanced up into the tree's canopy, jumping and nearly falling from his perch when his eyes met with blood red eyes. Regaining his balance, Yusuke looked around quickly, but the eyes had disappeared, making him think that he had imagined it.

Yusuke decided it would be best to get inside as quick as possible. He gripped the branch he was sitting on, and swung down to the next branch. He quickly made his way down the tree, and finally landed with a soft thump on the ground. Groaning softly in pain, he made his way into the house.

Sighing with sadness, Yusuke flicked on his computer again. Shaking his head, he waited for the Internet to come up, then logged onto AIM. _Seems fitting I'd have to talk to him so soon._

**Blacknight21: morning **

**KissedRoses: can't sleep?**

**Blacknight21: u could say that**

**KissedRoses: whats wrong? **

**Blacknight21: my life's screwed**

**KissedRoses: what happened**

**Blacknight21: him and him**

**KissedRoses: the guys u like**

**Blacknight21: yea**

**KissedRoses: what about them**

**Blacknight21: i found out that they love each other**

**KissedRoses!**

**Blacknight21: tell me about it**

**KissedRoses: are u sure though**

**Blacknight21: almost positive**

**KissedRoses: u shouldnt give up **

**Blacknight21: y not, its 2 late for me and either of them**

**KissedRoses: but u said almost positive**

**Blacknight21: yea so?**

**KissedRoses: that's not a definite answer**

**Blacknight21: and?**

**KissedRoses: and u could be wrong**

**Blacknight21: from wut i've seen and heard lately, i'm sure that they like each other**

**KissedRoses: r u going to tell them?**

**Blacknight21: wut...that i like them?**

**KissedRoses: yea**

**Blacknight21: no**

**KissedRoses: y not? it cant hurt to try**

**Blacknight21: it can hurt...they'll hate me for getting in between them...i'm fine just watching them be happy...thats all i really need**

**KissedRoses: but wut about wut u want**

**Blacknight21: wut i want isnt important...what is important to me, is their happiness...thats all i need...for them to be happy**

**KissedRoses: no, u need them both...r u sure they don't like u 2...?**

**Blacknight21: 1 likes me 2, but the other hates me...how many times to i have to go over this?**

**KissedRoses: its still worth a try isnt it?**

**Blacknight21: i dont want to get my heart broken...i dont think i'd be able to stick around for long if they rejected me**

**KissedRoses: but...**

**Blacknight21: no buts...i'm going to watch them be happy...maybe i'll find some1 for me one day...**

**KissedRoses: u kno that isnt true...u kno youre only happy when youre with them**

**Blacknight21: yea, well, i have to put my feelings aside for those of my friends...its the only thing i can do**

**KissedRoses: but...i dont think thats right...**

**Blacknight21: i kno...believe me i do, but theres nothing else i can do**

**KissedRoses: yes there is...tell them...you have to try**

**Blacknight21: sad smile i cant risk my heart...**

**KissedRoses: everyday is a risk...youve lived this long...arent u willing to risk it all for love **

**Blacknight21: no, i'm not...not if it makes my friends sad **

**KissedRoses: but...**

**Blacknight21: no...i cant put them through the pain of losing me...if they rejected me, then i'd commit suicide...simple as that...theyd feel guilty and always would, plus they would miss me, at least one of them would...i just cant do that to them**

**KissedRoses: please try...watch them more...see if youre wrong**

**Blacknight21: i will, believe me, i'll be watching them forever, but i dont think it'll help...its just going to hurt the more i watch them**

**KissedRoses: youre going to put yourself though all that pain, just to see them happy?**

**Blacknight21: i'd do anything for them...anything**

**KissedRoses: thats tru love...u cant give it up**

**Blacknight21: i dont have a choice...cant you see that the longer i watch them, the harder life will get...the more i'll wish i was one of them...if i told them, that would make it even harder to bare...i cant do it...**

**KissedRoses: i care 2 much about u to see u in this type of pain...i dont like it...u have to do something**

**Blacknight21: something like wut...wut can i do that wont screw things up even more?**

**KissedRoses: ...tell...the...truth... **

**Blacknight21: laughs coldly the truth has only gotten me hurt so far...its only brought me pain...its only torn me up inside...wut good is truth when it only causes pain?**

**KissedRoses: truth is there for a reason...its always going to be there, whether u like it or not...i dont want u going through this...especially when u love them both so much...**

**Blacknight21: theres nothing i can do about it...**

**KissedRoses: youre not going to listen to me...youre not going to tell them...are u**

**Blacknight21: i cant...i just cant go through the pain**

**KissedRoses: sighs i guess theres nothing left then...nothing left to keep u happy**

**Blacknight21: happy! i cant even remember the last time i was happy...happiness has become a dream to me...a really far off, faded dream that i can only just recall...sometimes i wish i could be happy again...i wish i could have them both...i wish that we could all be with each other...i wish that u and Devil could find your happiness...but happiness doesnt exist to me anymore**

**KissedRoses: i'm happy when i'm talking to u and Devil...a lot happier than i've been in a long time...**

**Blacknight21: i'm glad i could make u happy...at least one of us is...**

**KissedRoses: how can i make u happy? **

**Blacknight21: u cant ...i'm srry, but i think i've lost my reasons to smile for the last time**

**KissedRoses: dont say that...please, just try and be happy...for me?**

**Blacknight21: that sounds like something my friend told me a few days ago...he asked me to try and be happy, for him...i'd do anything for him...**

**KissedRoses: does that mean you'll be happy...i mean, if he asked u to be happy...r u going to be?**

**Blacknight21: anything for him...and for u now too, and Devil**

**KissedRoses: thank u for trying...i know it hurts...but someday, you'll find happiness again**

**Blacknight21: i wait for that day...but i wont hold my breath...**

**Blacknight21 is not currently logged on.**

**KissedRoses is not currently logged on.**

Yusuke sighed, glancing at the clock on his computer. 5:30 AM. _Another night of sleep lost. _Yusuke got up after putting his computer in sleep mode, sure he'd be using it again that day. Walking to his bathroom, he turned on the water, getting ready for a shower. Stripping, he climbed into the stall and closed the curtain, turning the showerhead on. The water washed over his face, erasing all traces of the tears he had let slip.

Yusuke leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes, breathing deeply, willing away the flood of emotions threatening to break though.

_Why is my life so cursed? I truly should have expected as much, but I don't have to like it. Hiei and Kurama...they mean so much to me. I couldn't bare it if they left me. Do I tell them I know? What about Roses and Devil, do I tell them I know who they really are? Why is it so hard to go through life?_

Yusuke slipped his fingers through his shampoo-covered hair. He leaned back into the water, allowing the water to rinse away the white soap, wishing his troubles could be washed away so easily. Finishing, he turned off the water and wrung what little water there was out of his hair. He stepped out of the stall and into the steam filled bathroom beyond, grabbing a towel on his way. He quickly dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist, opening the door and moving out to find some clothes.

"Morning Yusuke," a soft voice said, shocking the teen out of his thoughts.

"K-Kurama," he squeaked, almost letting the towel slip, but catching himself before anything fell. "What are you doing here?"

"I came by to check on you. When you didn't answer the door, I became worried and came in. When I found you in the shower, I decided to wait for you to come out."

Yusuke blushed furiously as Kurama slid his gaze over his still slightly damp skin. "I see...um, do you mind, I kinda want to get dressed?"

"Not at all Yusuke." Kurama smirked and leaned back in the chair he was currently occupying. "Don't let me stop you."

Yusuke's blush turned even darker. He couldn't believe Kurama was just sitting in his room, plainly staring at him, and apparently waiting for him to get dressed in front of him. "Umm."

"What's wrong Yusuke, you're not embarrassed in front of me, are you?"

"I-uh, no, of course not. Why should I be?" Yusuke moved to his dresser and quickly pulled out a black T-shirt. Bending over, he reached into a different drawer, looking for a pair of jeans. Kurama happily stared at Yusuke's ass while trying not to laugh at his friend's embarrassment. Yusuke stood up, taking a pair of tight, form fitting jeans with him. He opened the top drawer and pulled out some underwear, hiding it between his jeans and shirt. Turning, he quickly smiled at Kurama before moving towards the bathroom once more, this time to get dressed.

Kurama grinned and shook his head at his friend's modesty. "Yusuke, you are embarrassed. Why?"

"I'm not embarrassed!" Yusuke protested, spinning on his heel to stare evenly at the grinning Kurama.

"Then why are you blushing?"

"I...I'm not! I'm just hot, that's all."

"So I've noticed." Kurama's voice was covered in ulterior meanings, but Yusuke was too worked up to notice. He slipped into the bathroom under the piercing gaze of his fox-spirited friend. Once in the safety the room offered, Yusuke allowed the sigh to pass his lips as he leaned back against the door.

_What the hell! He's fuckin' playful! Yusuke shook his head, something was definitely up._

"Do you need some help in there Yusuke?"

"Umm, no, really I'm fine. J-just give me a minute!"

"Of course Yusuke."

He leaned back, banging his head against the door repeatedly, trying to clear his head of the confusing thoughts racing through it.

"Yusuke? What's that noise? Are you alright?"

"Really Kurama, I'm fine." Sighing, Yusuke moved away from the door, dropping the towel to the floor. Shifting slightly, he moved to stand before the vanity mirror above the sink. He sighed again, leaning heavily against the counter. He pulled on his underclothes and reached for his pants.

"Yusuke?"

"Hmm?"

"Where did you get this rose?"

"Rose?"

"Yeah, actually roses. There are several black roses out here, and I was just wondering..."

Yusuke was out the door in a second. He skidded to a halt when he saw Kurama picking up a black rose from his dresser and adding it to several already in his hand. "What are...where did you find them?"

"Around your room. The first was lying on your pillow and the rest; I just followed my nose to. There's one dozen of them, and I just wanted to know where you found such beautiful and rare _black_ roses."

"I didn't find them. You did."

"What do you mean..." Kurama stopped suddenly, finally aware of Yusuke's current state of dress. He was in nothing more than a pair of blood red silk boxers. He openly stared at Yusuke, easily taking in every inch of bare skin he could see. It wasn't the first time he'd seen Yusuke like this, but Yusuke had grown up and matured since then, and his body was even better looking than before. He raked his eyes over the teen in front of him.

Yusuke stared at the roses in Kurama's hand. He hadn't even known they were there. Had someone brought them while he was asleep, and he just didn't see them before he got into his shower? Had _Hiei_ brought them while he was in the shower? That thought alone was crazy. Hiei would never do something like that for anyone, let alone someone he hated. Unless..._unless he's trying to get inside my head...or already has, and is trying to mess with my mind._ He shook his head. Nothing made sense anymore. Yusuke looked up from the roses and saw Kurama staring heatedly at him. He blinked and stepped back unconsciously, slightly nervous under the piercing, appraising gaze of the kitsune.

Kurama set the roses on the bedside table and moved forward, still staring, completely entranced with Yusuke's muscled physique. Yusuke took another step backward, blinking again, trying to break the staring contest he was having with his friend. Kurama's steps grew bigger, and he easily gained on Yusuke, backing him against the wall near the bathroom door. Yusuke squeaked when he felt his back hit the solid object preventing his escape, and looked around quickly, trying to find an escape.

Kurama's arms quickly, yet silently, came to rest on either side of Yusuke's shoulders, preventing his escape. Yusuke squeaked again, a little lower pitched, and met the intense gaze of Kurama. He leaned back, hitting his head against the wall. He gulped, finally admitting he had no where to run, and no where to hide.

Kurama's voice was an octave lower when he finally spoke again. "Why, Yusuke, are you _blushing_? It couldn't be because of me, now, could it?"

Yusuke shook his head again, unable to talk because he was afraid his voice would shake if he did.

"Oh, but I think you are. And all because I'm close to you." Kurama leaned in further. "Is it because you like me Yusuke?"

There was an inaudible whimper from Yusuke, but Kurama's sharp hearing caught it. He smirked to himself, thinking it was all too easy making Yusuke into a puddle of goo. Again, Yusuke's head shook slightly, but the reason for the action was unclear to the both of them.

"Do you want me to move back Yusuke?" Kurama's voice dropped a little more and became alluring and erotic to Yusuke's ears.

There was a negative head shake from Yusuke, who was slightly relaxing, even caught against the wall as he was.

"Do you want me to leave Yusuke? Or should I stay and, have a little fun?"

A small moan drifted from Yusuke's throat, all the answer Kurama was getting.

"What was that Yusuke? I couldn't quite hear you." Kurama moved in closer, his lips feathering over Yusuke's as he spoke. "You'll have to speak up itooshi. Shall I stay, or shall I leave?"

Yusuke's eyes slipped shut, unable to remain connected to the emerald orbs searching his very soul. "Stay," he whispered, even knowing that he'd lose Kurama to Hiei soon. He threw away his doubts, and pressed his lips against Kurama's, aching for the knowledge that someone, anyone, loved and needed him.

Kurama easily and greedily accepted the kiss, moving closer to Yusuke's body until they were fully pressed against one another. His tongue slipped out, tracing lightly over Yusuke's lips before demanding an entrance that was immediately granted. He eased his tongue past Yusuke's teeth, tracing it over the little fangs there. A bead of blood welled on his tongue and was promptly licked away by Yusuke's tongue dancing lightly over his own.

A small keening moan pierced the air, silence split by Yusuke's soft sound. Kurama pressed Yusuke harder against the wall, wanting, needing, to be closer to him. His lips ravaged Yusuke's, claiming him as his own. He never wanted to let go, but the need for air demanded he do so. Pulling back, he gazed at Yusuke's flushed face possessively before trailing his lips down Yusuke's neck. Another soft moan broke the silence, this time slightly lower than the first.

Yusuke fisted his hands at his side, clenching them tightly, before moving them up to encircle Kurama's neck, holding him closer to his neck. Kurama easily accepted the hold and happily continued kissing the younger teen. He sucked gently in one place, leaving a red mark when he finally moved to the other side of his neck. He did the same thing there, sucking gently until another red mark formed. The second time however, he nibbled lightly at the skin and then licked at the bruised area before biting down hard, truly marking Yusuke as his.

Yusuke's scream cut through the room, his grip on Kurama tightening immensely. He held onto the redhead, willing the pain to leave his body and for the pleasure to return. His tensely coiled muscles refused to relax, dreading more pain. Kurama's hands moved from the wall to glide easily over Yusuke's body, aching to touch every square inch he could reach. His hands drew light patterns over the skin, trying to ease some of the pain by distracting his marked friend. His tongue lightly lapped at the skin, sucking the blood away and easing the bruised area.

Slowly, Yusuke's body relaxed, realizing that Kurama wasn't going to hurt him again, and feeling the pain in his neck start to leave. His hands loosened their hold slightly, moving down and around to trace his name on Kurama's chest, claiming him as his own as well.

Kurama smirked against Yusuke's neck and slowly trailed his lips up, reaching his ear. He let his soft pants puff lightly into Yusuke's ear, exciting the boy further. A groan left Yusuke's parted lips, passing through the heavy breathing. His hand's fisted in Kurama's shirt, tightening as he felt Kurama's hands tracing light circles around his hips at the waistband of his boxers. His lips found their way to Kurama's neck and he gently kissed the pale ivory skin offered to him. He lapped at the juncture before nibbling lightly. When Kurama gasped softly, Yusuke bit down, marking Kurama as he had been marked.

Kurama's loud moan pierced through the room, mingling and mixing with Yusuke's loud groan of pleasure. He used his tongue to sooth the skin, sucking lightly at the mark. Kurama's hands tightened on Yusuke's hips, fingers holding hard enough to leave bruises behind.

Slowly Yusuke pulled back, sensing that the pain had faded, and cautiously moved his eyes up to meet Kurama's, afraid slightly of what he'd see in his friend's eyes. He was shocked to find that the light emerald orbs had darkened to a deep forest green with flecks of amber gold, burning with an intense fire that wouldn't be stopped.

Kurama's lips slowly tilted up in an inviting smile, showing Yusuke that he was far from mad at him. He slowly moved one of his hands up and placed it over Yusuke's heart, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

"Glad to know you've let your heart melt for me."

Yusuke's eyes closed as he sighed, nodding his head and allowing a small smile to grace his lips.

"Me too Kurama, me too." He leaned against his fox and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling them closer together and snuggling his head against the other's shoulder. A soft moan flitted through his lips at the friction moving caused.

Kurama looked down at Yusuke's open face, seeing the pain he felt constantly, but also the passion and love buried beneath it all. He hugged him closer before picking him up into his arms, easily carrying Yusuke's decreasing weight. He was worried about his friend's health and was going to ask him about it when he felt a soft pair of lips gliding over his exposed neck. He groaned, halting his journey to the bed.

Yusuke trailed his tongue along Kurama's neck, lightly tracing the bite mark he had left on the pale skin. He moaned softly, pulling back and letting his warm breath ghost over the mark. Kurama groaned and carefully sat on the bed, holding Yusuke close to him, keeping him on his lap. Yusuke's hold on Kurama tightened and a silent tear made its way down his cheek, falling softly to land gently against Kurama's neck.

Feeling the tear, Kurama pulled back to look into Yusuke's emotion filled face. Yusuke shook his head, trying to hide his pain from Kurama, but the fox wouldn't let him slip behind his mask again. He lifted Yusuke's head up, tilting his face towards him and forcing dark brown eyes to meet with deep jade ones. Keeping the eye contact, Kurama slowly bent in, feathering his lips over Yusuke's.

Yusuke's eyes widened at the amount of feelings felt in the kiss, and was frightened by them, but leaned against Kurama nonetheless. His lips parted slowly, giving the other access to him once more. His eyes slowly slipped shut, unable to stay open with the intense flood of emotions racing through him. His hands tightened around Kurama's neck further, clinging to him for all he was worth, wanting to stay in his arms forever, always being loved like he was now. A soft moan slipped through his lips as he parted them to Kurama's tongue when it asked for entrance by lightly licking at his lips.

Kurama heard the moan and smiled, knowing Yusuke was feeling only the pleasure he was receiving. Turning slowly, he laid Yusuke on the bed against his pillows, never breaking the soft kiss he shared with the half demon. He leaned over the teen, his legs coming up to straddle the other's slim waist. When he felt Yusuke's body tense, he pulled back.

Yusuke looked up at Kurama with fear in his eyes.

Smiling softly, Kurama leaned down, bringing their faces close together.

"First time with a male Yusuke?"

Slowly Yusuke shook his head, his fear and nervousness growing.

"First time on bottom?"

Again Yusuke shook his head, trying to keep the eye contact with Kurama.

The fox was puzzled. If it wasn't Yusuke's first time with a male, nor his first time on bottom...then why else would he be nervous...? A light went off in his head as a thought hit him. "First time, with anyone?"

Blushing a pale pink, Yusuke adverted his eyes to the ceiling, trying not to seem too embarrassed. His blush intensified when Kurama placed a light kiss on his cheek.

Smiling, Kurama brushed Yusuke's bangs out of his face so their eyes could meet again, provided that Yusuke ever stop looking at the ceiling. "Yusuke, look at me." When Yusuke didn't respond right away, Kurama decided he needed a little encouragement. He leaned closer and captured Yusuke's lips in a soft, warm kiss, initiated to make him more open to Kurama.

When the fox pulled back, he was delighted to hear a soft moan of protest from Yusuke, followed quickly by his eyes falling from the ceiling to meet and clash with him. The blush still lingered on Yusuke's cheeks, making him look vulnerable and childlike, and while the former was true, the latter was far from it. Yusuke was anything but a child.

"Yusuke, are you embarrassed because you've never been with anyone else before?"

Flushing pink again, Yusuke slowly nodded, not trusting himself to speak yet.

Kurama smiled down at him and cupped his face with one hand, running his thumb over Yusuke's lips. "If you'll let me," Kurama leaned down to capture Yusuke's lips in a soft, feathered butterfly kiss. "I want to be your first."

Startled brown eyes widened. Yusuke couldn't believe what Kurama had just said. He wanted his fox, yes, but before he let anything happen, he wanted him to know the truth. He sat up, softly pushing Kurama back to sit cross-legged on the bed.

When Yusuke finally managed to calm down enough to talk, he allowed his eyes to meet Kurama's curious green gaze. "Kurama...I want you to be my first too."

"Then Yusuke..." But Yusuke held up a hand, effectively stopping Kurama in mid sentence.

"Wait Kurama, I'm not finished yet." He took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "I want you to be my first, but there's something you have to know first." Getting a nod from Kurama, Yusuke continued before he could change his mind and back out. "I love Hiei, Kurama." Seeing Kurama's face fall and looking like his heart had just been broken, Yusuke was quick to finish what he had started. "But I love you too, Kurama." He leaned in, capturing the startled redhead in a soft innocent kiss. Pulling back slightly, he whispered against his fox's lips. "I love you too." He dipped in again, this time for a deeper, more intense touch. Moaning softly, his tongue slipped out to trace Kurama's lips, begging for entrance, but when it was given, Yusuke didn't accept the invitation at first, preferring to tease Kurama instead. Wrapping his arms around his kitsune's neck, he pulled him back with him. They landed softly against the pile of pillows, Kurama between Yusuke's spread legs, still locked in a blood boiling kiss.

(Author's Note: Sorry people, you gotta go to or to read this little part...laughs Too bad so sad. If you don't want to go to the other sites, drop me a review and I'll send you the scene...just leave your email address.)

_Kurama slumped over Yusuke's prone body, resting his head on the pillow next to Yusuke's neck. He kissed the mark gently, panting softly as he clung to his lover. Yusuke moaned softly and hugged Kurama close to him, silently vowing to never let him go. Kurama groaned as Yusuke's lips feathered light kisses over his neck and slowly pulled back. _

Yusuke's eyes were half open, dark brown irises nearly black. He smiled softly at Kurama and yawned, earning a smile in return. Kurama swept Yusuke's bangs from his eyes and just stared at the teen as he slowly drifted off, happy for the first time in what seemed like forever. Gently Kurama pulled out of the half-demon and settled next to him, pulling the teen's body over to lay on his chest.

Yusuke looked up from his position on Kurama's chest and smirked, slipping his tongue out to lap at the pale skin still covered in sweat. Hearing a groan from the redhead, Yusuke's smirk grew, and he propped himself up so he could watch Kurama's reactions better.

"I think need another shower," Yusuke murmured.

"Later. Right now, all I want to do is hold you," Kurama said, smiling and hugging Yusuke to his chest. "I don't want to let you go."

"So don't, but I'm getting a shower." Yusuke smirked, rolling out of Kurama's arms and off the bed. He grabbed Kurama's hand and pulled him up, tugging on it on the way to the bathroom. "I don't plan on letting go either." Despite being with Kurama like this, Yusuke's heart was aching inside. He easily held back the tears that wanted to fall from years of practice, never letting Kurama see how much pain he was really in.

**Thanks and comments:**

Taikai no za Kokorohaha!

I'm glad to know I amuse you so. Yeah, someone finally sees my nonexistent point in actually writing an author's note. There really is no point to it at all…just to take up space. You think they were in character? I didn't. First…where did Hiei get the computer? Second…Kurama was insulting Hiei, though I find it amusing, it doesn't seem like Kurama. But hey, whatever. It's all in the eyes of the beholder. Keep reading.

kit-kit

It's good to know you know. Have a cookie…what kind do you want? sighs I'm pretty much giving up on the 20 reviews or else, because no one, and I mean NO ONE ever reviews.

kurama's fan

Yeah, someone likes me, they really like me (or at least my story anyway) I'm glad you know, because now I know you know. Does that make sense, because if it does, you need help. I _never_ make sense.

kurama's fan

Of course he isn't going to make it out of the mess. Where would the fun be in that? Duh, no where. I'm giving him as many problems as I can, just to make things interesting. Yeah, he is depressed and weak. Depressed from repressed feelings of guilt and unrequited love. And weak because he's kinda willing himself to die, and the thing he caught from the Makai…and yeah, he's got it rough.

roses-for-Sessho-maru

Yeah, I caught someone's attention in a good way, not bad. It's a miracle…I think I'll take a holiday. goes off to plan

Kyoden

I know the feeling. If they were real, I'd so kidnap them. smiles No, I made the names up, though it would have been interesting if someone actually had one of the screen names. I wonder how many other people have tried the names to see if they exist. Yeah, I haven't read any fic with the whole internet chat thing so I decided to change that.

Amber

Patience is a virtue

heather

Patience is a virtue, and thanks for the compliment

A

mber c.

Well, as you've read, Yusuke knows who they are…the others will either take forever, or not figure it out. That's sad considering that Kurama is oh so smart

anime manga girl

I'm writing, I'm writing. Patience is a virtue that you don't have. Oh, and the system wasn't messing up. I'm pretty sure that that was around the time I was oh so (not)nicely kicked off of Something about Haunting Dreams not being appropriate. innocent look Of course it wasn't! There's no fun in appropriate stories.

Kaleigh

I guess you'll have to die of suspense then, because I like making people crave the next chapter

You Know Who

Blasted brat of a sister! You do NOT admit to being related to me!

Yusuke4

I think I'm late for your b-day, but happy late(very) late birthday

1sergbhnm

Keiko is in the way of everything. OC is original character and OOC is out of character.

FireIce Fox Goddess

I post when I think people have had enough waiting. And when I get bored…or distracted…looks out the window Oh, birdie runs out the door

Yusuke4

throws chapter at reader Have it! laughs You must really like this story

soursuger

Hmm…wonder who this is…not! Review more often _sugar_. Don't forget I know where you live.

**Author's, monotonous, ever boring, completely useless, note: Anyone know why Yusuke's sad and wants to cry. I gave subtle hints throughout, but you had to have been paying attention to catch them. Anyway, the reason comes up later and plays a big part in the last 2 chapters, which, by the way, I already have written up, I'm just missing everything in between here and there. smiles Anyway, if you know what's up with him, go ahead and guess in your review. I may or may not tell you if you're right or wrong, depending on if anyone gets it right, though I doubt anyone will. I hid this really well. Oh, and before I forget, how was my happy little love scene. For all you readers at fan fiction . Net, too bad you don't get to read it. Sadly, I'm not willing to get kicked off here again. Go to adultfanfiction . Net or media miner . org or to read whatever is missing. I'm there under the same name as here.**


	4. Internet Crash

Internet Romance

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, so you can't sue me. I will however, be borrowing them for my wonderfully sick and perverted writings. Thank you.

Chapter 4: Internet Crash

While Yusuke and Kurama showered, Kuwabara was elsewhere getting the information he needed for the mission they had been told about. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why Kurama hadn't been the one being briefed, but he guessed there was a reason, whatever it was. As soon as Botan finished with the meeting, he started getting ready. 7 A..M. was way too early to get up, and he needed time to fully awaken. Little did he know, he'd have less time than he thought, and all because Hiei found something he didn't like.

The object of his inner rantings showed up, demanding he move faster. Kuwabara glared at the fire demon before ignoring him. He still hadn't forgotten or forgiven Hiei for what he had said to Yusuke.

"Move it idiot. The Detective and Fox," Hiei spat out Kurama's title with disgust and barely disguised anger, "are waiting for us to come and get them. If you don't want to be left behind and have it once again shown that you are not needed, then move." For once, even Kuwabara didn't have a mean response. There was something about the fire demon's flashing red eyes that led him to believe anyone who challenged him would die a very painful death. He gave in and nodded, shutting his door behind him before taking off for Kurama's house.

"Not that way fool. The fox is at Urameshi's house." Again, Kuwabara could sense there was something different about the way Hiei was talking about the other redhead in their group. He wasn't dumb. He had known for quite a while that Kurama had liked Yusuke as more than friends, however he didn't believe the feelings were returned. He was confused however about why Hiei would be upset with Kurama. _Could the fire demon _like _Kurama?_ He pushed it aside as they reached his best friend's house. Unlocking the door, he was shocked, to say the least, when he opened it to see Kurama and Yusuke in a compromising position, Yusuke being pinned against the wall by Kurama with one of the redhead's legs between his own. When he felt the enraged ki coming from the fire demon, he figured he had been right. Hiei had a crush on Kurama. He sighed, preparing himself for a long mission. A very long, very uncomfortable, and very tense mission.

Coughing, Kuwabara gained the attention of the two teenagers who were busily making out. "Ahem. Do you think you could STOP sucking face long enough to complete this mission?!"

Hiei was pleased when they jumped apart. His angry red gaze met with Yusuke's before turning to the redhead. Little did he know, he was aiding Yusuke's already depressed thoughts, especially when the redhead returned Hiei's gaze with a calm, almost caring look.

"Did you want something Kuwabara?" Kurama asked, straightening his clothes as he slowly moved away from Yusuke.

"In case you two have forgotten, we have a mission to complete and watching you two make out is not a part of it. Not that I have anything against it though," he added after a moment, seeing the slightly panicked look on his best friend's face. "Shall we?" Kuwabara was glad that Yusuke was still meeting his gaze and not ashamed of being caught. He fell in step with his friend as they made their way to the last known location of the demon.

"So…"

"So…"

"Kurama and you huh?"

Yusuke hesitated, his steps stalling as well before he nodded and continued. He was unaware of crimson eyes watching him, paying close attention to what was occurring between Yusuke and Kuwabara. "Yeah," he eventually said.

"Good. He's liked you for awhile now you know?"

"I'm getting that impression. So…you're okay with it?"

"Hey, does he make you happy?"

A smile crossed his face at how happy he had been earlier in the morning, Kurama buried inside of him as they were making love, and his face turned bright red. He coughed lightly before nodding again.

"Then I'm okay with it. As long as he keeps making you happy, then that's all I could want. I haven't seen you smile since Keiko."

"Not much to smile about was there? So you're really okay with it?"

"Yeah, but the second he hurts you…" Kuwabara let the threat hang in the air as he turned his blue eyes to the redheaded fox.

"Alright." Yusuke chuckled, an action which gained the surprised looks of Kurama and Kuwabara. He grinned to them before speaking once more. "So, Kuwabara, what about this mission? You're the one Botan talked to right?"

"Yeah. She just gave me the location of where he was last seen. She said not much is known about him, but there's something weird about his victims. Apparently, everyone who's been sent to capture him has died. Their spirit energy is there one minute and then disappears. Then the demon toys with his prey before killing them. No one's been able to figure out what's been happening so Koenma want us to be careful."

"Hn, the only one who should worry is you, fool. He'll never touch the rest of us."

Before Kuwabara could make a huge scene as he was wont to do, Yusuke put a hand on his shoulder, calming him down before glaring at the fire demon. "Overconfidence will lead to your failure Hiei." The rest of the trip was made in silence, everyone thinking about the mission. They made it to the forest without any further incidents.

"Do you guys sense him?" Yusuke asked, eyes darting around the trees, looking for their target.

"He's somewhere close, but not close enough to be seen from the outside edge. We'll have to journey in." Kurama was the one to answer, his emerald eyes tracking the forest. "The plants want him out, but they can't harm him." He looked confused for a moment before turning to look at Yusuke. "He's drained their spirit energy from them."

"Alright. Keep your eyes open. He's not a normal demon and I don't relish having my energy stolen. We're not taking chances. Take him out." Yusuke's tone left no room for disagreement and even Hiei knew better than to argue. "Come on, I want to be done with this by nightfall. He'll have an advantage over us then."

They silently split into groups, Hiei and Yusuke slipping off to one side, Kurama and Kuwabara to the other. Despite Yusuke and Hiei having their differences, they still worked best together, better even than when Hiei and Kurama had been paired.

"The fox?"

"Shut up. I don't need your approval and I'm not asking for it."

"Why him?"

"Got tired of waiting." Yusuke didn't really want to talk about his relationship with Kurama.

"For?"

"The one I loved first. One can only wait so long with a love unrequited."

"Was it unrequited, or just not told? There's a difference."

"Leave it Hiei! It's none of your business."

"How quaint, a lover's quarrel. Shall I leave you to kiss and make up before killing you? Or put you both out of your misery now so you don't have to suffer fighting with your lover?" The voice came from a glade a little in front of them. Both walked forward, wary of any traps, even as they replied to the demon.

"He's not my lover!" both shouted at the same time, glaring at the strange demon in front of them.

"Oh cute, you even think alike! Sure you're not in love?" When he was met with silence, the demon sighed before jumping from the tree he had been perched on. "Oh well. No reason to spare one who isn't in love. Besides, your energy is just…delicious." He sauntered over to Hiei. "Can't wait to taste you, little one. First though, shall we fight? That is why you're here, is it not?" He received a pair of looks, both easily saying he was obviously nuts. He chuckled before moving back. "You think alike. Both of you are assuming I'm crazy. But, oh that's interesting!" Silver eyes flashed in amusement. "Both of you are hiding something. Love unrequited indeed. Shall I tell your secrets to each other before killing you?"

"Shut up!" Hiei hissed, launching himself at the demon, sword drawn and ready for an attack.

"Oh, Little One doesn't want him to know? Shame, really. Would you prefer I kill him, and then tell you his secret? I'm positive you'll love to know."

The fire demon stopped for a moment, looking back to Yusuke, seeing a slightly panicked look in his eyes. He sighed to himself, turning back to the black haired demon. He'd find out what was going on later.

"Oh, you don't want to know his secret then? How about mine?" He smirked when he saw that got a reaction. "Energy. Rather, energy I steal. It gives me such a rush. Yours my little firebug will make me burn. Depending on the energy, I feel different things. With yours, I can already see the anger, the bloodlust. Having your love stolen away will do that I'm afraid." He didn't get to finish his sentence. Hiei had once again launched an attack, this time slicing through the demon's clothing and into his arm.

"Blood," he hissed in pleasure. "There's nothing like it in the world. I'll enjoy spilling yours my fire demon. Or rather…" He glanced over at Yusuke, watching as the teen stood by. "Hiei, is it? He's thinking about you. Oh, such a naughty boy." The demon appeared behind Yusuke and wrapped his arms around his waist. "You smell delicious for a human." He watched as Hiei's eyes glowed for a moment in anger. His voice dropped to a whisper, so only Yusuke could hear. "Do you want me to kill you to spare you the pain of watching your love die?" He chuckled darkly as he felt the teen in his arms tremble slightly. "Oh yes, I read your thoughts instantly. Barriers don't keep me out, even ones as strong as yours. If you were a demon maybe I'd have kept you for myself. Pity you're a human." His last two sentences were spoken loud enough for Hiei to hear, pleased when he saw the fire demon tense. "He's going to attack me you know. Defend his leader. A human for a Spirit Detective, especially one as weak as you. You have barely any energy, not even enough for me to bother stealing." He released Yusuke, gracefully flipping to the side as Hiei appeared next to Yusuke.

"Detective, you shouldn't be here. You haven't enough energy to defend yourself. Get out of my way," he hissed, crimson eyes flaring as his gaze followed the demon. Once more he attacked, this time met halfway when the silver-eyed demon clashed swords with him.

"Call me Kiyoshi my Little One. Your power will be with me until I die. Any last goodbyes?" Kiyoshi was taunting Hiei, trying to coax him into attacking, forcing him back towards the other trees.

"Only to you," he hissed.

"Oh, so you'll not say 'I love you' even once? It may be your last chance." He grinned when Hiei attacked. His silver eyes tracked the fire demon's movements, watching and planning his strike. He had completely forgotten about Yusuke.

Brown eyes narrowed in suspicion. Something felt off about the situation. Kiyoshi was deliberately falling back as he drew Hiei forward. A movement caught his gaze, eyes widening when he saw the almost transparent spear waiting for Hiei to go into its range. He watched as the fire demon moved another step, spear drawing back for its strike. Another step and he was in range. Yusuke didn't think. He didn't stop to consider what exactly would happen to him should the spear hit him. He just acted on instinct and shoved Hiei out of the way. He didn't know how he had gotten to him in time, but he could tell he had when he felt a cold lance go through him. It felt as though an icicle had just been stabbed through him, but there was no wound, not that that mattered to him. He had fallen to the ground as he felt his spirit energy flowing through him.

"Yusuke!"

"So my Little One cares? Quaint. But his energy is noth…" Kiyoshi stopped as he felt the detective's energy flowing into him. "Oh, gods!" He moaned in pleasure as he felt what he had missed. "His energy. So much pleasure. I've never…" He moaned again as he fell to the ground near the fallen Spirit Detective, writhing around in pleasure as Yusuke's energy raced through him. "Hiei, you could never compare to this! His energy is…oh gods, it's limitless. And so pure. His love is so pure!"

Hiei didn't give Kiyoshi a chance to finish. He unleashed his Dragon, letting his anger go with it, taking satisfaction as he watched the silver-eyed demon being devoured. He tried not to look worried as he heard Yusuke moan in pain.

"Shit," he groaned, rolling to his side. "That hurt."

Sighing in relief that the detective was still alive, complete with his sense of humor, he walked over, sitting down next to him. "Can you walk?"

"Probably not." He groaned again. "Feels like I was skewered with an icicle. Fuckin' freezing."

Crimson eyes softened just a little as he watched Yusuke curl up. He rolled the detective to his back and perched himself over him, waiting until brown eyes opened before speaking. "Do you want me to warm you up?" he questioned in a perfectly calm and cool voice.

"What?"

"I'm a fire demon. My body temperature is higher than that of a human's."

"So?" He was confused and definitely not following where Hiei was going on this tangent thought.

Rolling his eyes, Hiei leaned down and kissed him, his plush lips closing over Yusuke's as he slowly exhaled, before he was grabbed away and practically thrown across the clearing. Growling, he looked up only to see a jealous fox and a raging idiot.

"What the HELL were you doin' to him Hiei?!"

"I was…" Hiei growled out before being interrupted.

"He's with Kurama you midget asshole!"

"He was…" Yusuke tried to explain as well, but was cut off again by Kuwabara.

"Come on Shorty! I'll kill you for this!"

"KUWABARA!" Yusuke finally yelled.

"What?!"

"He was helping me."

"He WHAT?!"

"Hn." Hiei couldn't help but smirk. Finally, the fool was speechless.

"We ran into the demon. Fuckin' idiot stabbed me with something before Hiei killed him."

"And he kissed you, why?" Kurama asked, reasonably upset. Confusion and hurt rolled through his green eyes.

"Because the spear felt like an icicle had just gone through me and I couldn't get warm!" Yusuke was glaring by now, upset that Kurama and Kuwabara would think he would cheat. "He's a fire demon so yeah!" He finished in a huff and rolled over to his other side, back facing his teammates as he looked at Hiei. "You okay?"

"Fine. The baka would never be able to harm me." He paused for a moment before adding in a quieter voice, "And you?"

Yusuke graced him with a small smirk. "Didn't even touch me."

"Thank you."

"For what?" Yusuke smirked again before flopping to his back. "You're welcome," he added after a moment.

"Yusuke?"

Brown eyes turned to Kurama, holding the kitsune's gaze until the fox backed down and looked away. "Kurama," he returned in a cool voice.

"Don't be mad Yusuke! I'm sorry, but…" He trailed off, not finishing what he was thinking, but Yusuke knew.

"I told you this morning there was nothing to worry about, now come here." He smiled softly as Kurama leaned over him. "Closer…" He pulled his redhead into a kiss, not noticing the erratic aura coming from Hiei.

Kuwabara watched Hiei's reaction to Kurama and Yusuke. Yet again, Hiei's eyes flashed with hatred and anger before he turned and jumped into a tree. His thoughts were broken by Yusuke who had surprising ended the kiss.

"I won't be able to get up tonight guys. Stupid Kiyoshi took my spirit energy."

"He seemed to enjoy it Detective."

"Must be my likeable personality. So yeah, I'm staying put tonight."

"Cool Urameshi. We haven't camped out in forever. I'll get the firewood!"

"Hiei, could you find something to eat for us?" Kurama asked coolly, suspicious green eyes on the fire demon.

"Hn." Nodding, Hiei took off. He really didn't want to deal with Kurama, especially when the kiss he had shared with the detective was still on his mind.

"Yusuke…"

"I'm not happy fox."

"What was I supposed to think? I show up and find him kissing you after feeling him release the dragon. When he released it, I thought the worst."

"He was just pissed, and now so am I. How could you think I'd leave you after this morning? The only reason he even helped is because I pushed him out of the way and took the hit for him. He was probably pissed that I got in the way and let go of some frustrations in the dragon. Look, it's you and me, okay? He's not in the picture."

"But…"

"No fox. Leave it be. Kurama, please?" He smiled slightly when the redhead nodded. Their moment was broken when Kuwabara showed up.

"Hey guys!" He dropped the wood to the side and walked over. "Kurama, can I talk to Yusuke for a sec?"

"Yeah, I'll go and see if I can help Hiei."

Once the fox was out of hearing range, Kuwabara started his speech and stated it bluntly. "Hiei likes Kurama."

Yusuke blinked, stunned silent for a moment. "What?"

"Hiei. Likes. Kurama. This morning when we came to get you, he seemed upset about him being at your house. Then he nearly blew up your house when we got there and saw you two kissing. He's glared more at Kurama today then he has me in months."

"I-Thanks Kuwabara."

"Welcome. Just watch out for him."

Unknown to his friend, inside, Yusuke was sobbing, his belief confirmed. He had been right. _Hiei loves Kurama and Kurama loves Hiei. Where does that leave me?_ Kurama and Hiei had known each other longer than they had known Yusuke and had had time to get to know each other better. He saw his life with Kurama slipping between his fingers as water would. He looked up as the two demons entered the clearing, seeming more at ease with each other than before, though Hiei still looked a little upset.

Hiei left Kurama to cook the meal as he sat in a tree and closed his eyes. Kurama had propped Yusuke against the same tree so he wouldn't have to lie on his back the entire time. Dinner passed quietly, no one speaking much as everyone thought about different things. Darkness finally fell and the camp settled down for the night. Kurama erected a barrier so even Hiei could sleep with no worries about being attacked. Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara settled down around the fire while Hiei remained in his tree, content where he was.

Kuwabara was the first to fall asleep, and Kurama wasn't far behind. When Hiei felt everyone was asleep, he jumped from his perch, walking over to the group.

"Have I lost you to _him_? Of all people…" He settled back in his tree after gazing contemptuously at Kurama. He never noticed the brown eyes, focused on the fire.

Yusuke knew. The scorn and hatred in Hiei's voice was directed at him. Hiei was angry that he was with Kurama. A tear fell down his cheek, but he refused to let more fall. Like Hiei though, he had assumed everyone else was asleep. Crimson eyes opened and fell to rest on him, curious despite their usual lack of interest. Hiei shrugged it off to nightmares and left it at that. They both fell asleep, Hiei first though Yusuke took some time.

Morning dawned bright and cheery, its rays falling onto closed eyes, intense enough to pull even the deepest sleeper awake. No one slept in except for Kuwabara, however Yusuke saw to that when he realized he wouldn't be getting back to sleep. Share misery. If he couldn't sleep, no one else got to either. Kurama watched in amusement as the other redhead was rudely awakened. Hiei just huffed before disappearing.

"Come on Yusuke. We'll just leave him in the middle of the forest to find his own way home."

"Yeah, alright. I want breakfast anyway."

"How are you feeling?" Kurama asked, stepping to Yusuke's side as they made their way to the edge of the clearing.

"Better, but my energy is still little to none. I don't think I'd be able to fire off even a spirit spitball the way I'm feeling."

"Wait for me!" Kuwabara joined his friends as Kurama laughed at him. "That wasn't funny," he groused, not appreciating the fox's humor.

"Hey, if I can't sleep in, you can't either. Besides, I'm the one who needs it the most so quit your whining. You can sleep when we get back."

"Is it really that bad Yusuke? Normally you'd be at full power again."

"Yeah, it's that bad. I'll just have to tell pacifier breath I won't be going on any missions for awhile. A vacation a couple years in the making. Kurama…wanna go somewhere for awhile?"

"Somewhere?"

"Yeah, to escape everything around here. What do you think?"

"I think I'd like that. We have earned a little break by now."

"Aw man, quit being all mushy around me. I'm all for you guys being together and all, but not around me." Kurama laughed lightly, clearly amused.

"Oh, so you can fawn over Yukina, but I can't ask my boyfriend to go on a vacation with me? You know, I could probably still kick your ass, even with no spirit energy. I always could back in school."

"Shut up! You wanna go?!"

"Boys, boys, boys. If you want to fight over me, do it properly." Kurama interrupted with a straight face, and was rewarded when Kuwabara did a face plant into the ground in shock.

"Looks like I win. See ya Kuwabara." Kurama and Yusuke laughed again as they walked out of the forest, leaving their friend on the ground, still in shock.

"Hey look, I have some stuff I gotta take care of. I'll be around later tonight, k?"

"All right Yusuke. Bring something with. I want you to spend the night," Kurama added in a softer, more seductive voice. Eyes twinkling, he kissed Yusuke before they parted to go their separate ways for the day.

By the time he was free to return to Kurama's house, it was getting pretty late. He had talked with his mother about Kurama and how they were going out. She had taken it well and had encouraged their vacation. She believed it was a pre-wedding honeymoon. Shizuru had said it was about time he got laid. Then she had brought out a bottle of sake and told Yusuke to get Kurama drunk and then have his wicked way with the redhead. She seemed to think it was funny when he turned bright red. He had finally been able to make it home, packing a bag with a change of clothes and some other things before heading to see his redheaded lover. The closer he got, the more his heart sped up.

"Fox?"

"Hiei, what…?"

"I want you to leave Yusuke."

"I love him. I'm not going to leave him just because you demand it."

"I'm serious. I want you to leave him alone."

"What? Why?"

"I don't like seeing him with you. I don't want you touching him." Hiei seemed tentative to reply to anything and was almost forcing out what he was saying.

"I won't leave him, but you could…"

"What? Join you two?"

"Yes. I know he…"

"I don't care! Can't you understand fox? Or are you too deluded by lust? I don't want you near him."

"What are you saying? Are you…in love…?"

Red eyes burned in anger for a moment before Hiei nodded. "I don't want you touching him anymore."

Kurama's eyes widened as tears filled them. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. The fire demon was finally admitting his feelings after Kurama had loved him for years. He couldn't help back a smile as he answered. "I love you Hiei."

Yusuke was finally happy with his life. He had someone he loved and someone he hoped loved him. Kurama had yet to say anything, but if he had been telling the truth as Roses, he loved both Hiei and himself. He just hoped Kurama would admit it to him.

He smiled as he walked. He could feel in his heart he loved the fire demon, but he loved Kurama as well. He admitted to himself though, that his love for Hiei was more than his love for Kurama. It went deeper and had existed longer. It would take time to heal. To forget. To move on. Even then, he wasn't sure he could completely stop loving Hiei, but he would try. He didn't want to keep loving the fire demon when there was no chance his feelings would ever be returned.

His thoughts turned to Kuwabara's warning. Hiei wasn't one to give up easily. He wasn't sure what would happen should the fire demon attempt to take Kurama away from him. The fox had known the koorime far longer than he had known him. Kurama had probably loved the fire demon longer as well. Just as Yusuke's feelings were more for Hiei, were Kurama's more for Hiei as well? Would the redhead leave him? Yusuke wasn't sure if he'd be able to take it.

He shook it off, knowing Kurama would never do that to him. His fox was far too loyal and too caring to up and leave him after what they had shared yesterday morning. He blushed furiously at the memory. No. Kurama couldn't leave him after that. He had been so loving, so caring. Yusuke had given him his first time and Kurama knew that. He'd never…

Yusuke pushed aside all doubts. He knew Kurama, and Kurama would never go after Hiei while with him. Reassured by his thoughts, Yusuke quickened his steps, turning onto Kurama's street. He smiled as his fox's house came into view. He stopped once he reached it, halting for a moment before going forward.

_**You don't know how much you mean to me.**_

Yusuke walked up the path to Kurama's house, smiling at the thought of seeing his fox again.

_**You don't know how much it hurts to see you with another.**_

He knocked softly on the door, waiting to see if Kurama had heard him, and wondering if he could surprise him.

_**Open your eyes, open your heart, I'm right in front of your face. **_

When no one answered the door, Yusuke picked the lock quietly, trying to sneak up on his love.

_**Can't you see the tears that fall down my face? Can't you see the blood pouring from my heart? Why won't you listen? Why won't you hear what I have to say?**_

He opened the door silently, wordlessly thanking the door for not creaking as he shut it behind him. He let his eyes roam the front room, noticing that all the lights were out.

**_Please, it hurts so much. Make the pain go away. Take away the ache in my heart, from seeing you look right past._**

He peered around the corner, looking into the kitchen for any sign of Kurama.

**_Dry my tears for me, wash away the bitterness. Make me smile, make me laugh. Do anything, but please don't make me cry. I'd give my life, just to make you realize how much you mean to me. _**

Finding no one, he moved down the hall. Silently, he moved past doors leading to closets and the one leading to the spare bedroom.

**_I see you standing there, waiting, most likely for another. I try to walk on by, but you stop me. "I'm sorry," you say. "Forgive me?"_**

Yusuke was starting to worry. He couldn't find Kurama anywhere in the house.

**_Tears, they're coming, slipping from my closed eyes. You reach up, and softly brush them aside. You tilt my head up, and softly lay a kiss, gently on my lips._**

Yusuke moved faster through the house, finally coming to Kurama's room. He saw a slit of yellow light from beneath the door and sighed in relief.

**_"I love you," you say to me. My heart soars, that's all I've ever wanted. I nod. I can't speak. My heart is in my throat. I open my mouth to finally say it..._**

Yusuke was about to open the door to surprise his fox when he heard voices talking quietly in the closed room.

**_My eyes slip open, and there you are, arms wrapped around another. It was all just a dream, just a useless wish. You'll never be mine._**

He recognized the voices. Kurama and Hiei were the two in the room. It was Kurama's voice Yusuke heard, blasting through his heart.

"I love you Hiei."

_**I race from the spot, trying to get away from the pain of you and him. Why can't you love me? Why can't I ever be happy? Why...why...WHY?**_

Yusuke slammed the front door behind him, running as fast as he could to get as far from the voices as he could. He thought Kurama loved him. He thought he would finally be happy. He thought he would finally be at peace without Keiko...

Kurama and Hiei jerked when they heard the door slam shut. Hiei was out of the room and down the hall before Kurama had gotten up. He sensed the remainder of Yusuke's energy around the house, quickly growing worried.

"Kurama, Yusuke was here."

"What?"

"I think he heard us."

"But...Oh no! Hiei, you have to find him! If he heard only part of it, then..."

Hiei nodded, disappearing from the house to chase after the running Spirit Detective, all the while hoping he wasn't too late.

Yusuke stopped finally, leaning against the tree near Keiko's grave marker.

**_The scene fades, I'm all alone. The darkness closes in._**

He withdrew a knife from a hidden sheath, holding it up so the clear silver of the blade glinted in the moonlight.

**_My pulse races, the wind whips my hair about. I look down and smile. There's my way out, my way away from the pain._**

Hiei sped up, trying to locate Yusuke's energy, but he was having a hard time finding the detective. Yusuke's energy was either being masked...or was gone. He shook his head, refusing to think that Yusuke was...dead.

Yusuke laid the blade against his wrist, a faint smile gracing his lips.

**_One last look, one last breath... _**

Turing the knife so the blade rested against his wrist, he made a clean cut into his skin. _For Keiko. _Moving the blade back slightly, he sliced through his skin again, making a second cut. _For Kurama. _He moved the blade back a third time, before making a third cut. _For Hiei. The three people who've hurt me the most._ He moved the knife to his other hand, placing the blade against his opposite wrist. He made a fresh cut, marking the other wrist. _For Mother. _He made a second cut slightly back from the first. _For Kuwabara._ Without flinching, he made a final cut. _For Genkai. The three people I'm hurting most._ He slid down the tree, coming to rest at the base of it. He watched as his blood poured from the six cuts, dripping to the grass and his jeans, not caring or even noticing that his vision was growing fainter. Absently, he noticed an energy approaching him, the speed too fast to be anyone but Hiei.

**_One last tear, one last wish..._**

Hiei raced to the spot he felt Yusuke's power fading. It was slowly slipping into nothing. He realized suddenly where Yusuke was. _Keiko's grave!_ As he thought about it, a sinking feeling filled his heart, telling him that he was too late. He landed in front of Yusuke, his heart stopping at the pale skin that glowed in the moonlight. Yusuke's eyes were closed; his breathing was short and shallow. He was dying. Kneeling, he shook Yusuke's shoulders, trying to wake the half-demon up, desperately hoping that there was still a chance of saving him.

Yusuke felt hands on his body, pulling him back to the pain of reality. Slowly his eyes opened. He saw Hiei, and Hiei only. The panic, worried look in the fire demon's eyes didn't bother him. He was too far to care about anything but leaving the world behind him. A soft smile found its way to his face, and Hiei relaxed slightly. Yusuke's left hand came up, laying softly on Hiei's cheek. He ran his thumb along the little demon's soft skin.

"Hi-ei..." Yusuke whispered, unable to speak any louder. Hiei leaned in, trying to hear Yusuke's voice.

"Yusuke...why?"

"I love you Hiei...my Fire Devil...I always have."

_Fire...Devil..._ "Night!"

Yusuke nodded slightly, too weak to do much else. "Take care of Roses...Kurama for me...tell h-him...I'm sorry."

Hiei was too shocked by Yusuke's words to care that Yusuke had been Night all along, and that Kurama was Roses. "Yusuke...no. You have to take care of him...you, not..."

Yusuke placed his thumb over Hiei's lips, shutting him up. "Tell him...that I love...that I love him, so much..." Yusuke's voice was growing softer. "My Fire...Devil."

**_One last look..._**

"No, Yusuke...please stay with me...I love you..." Hiei's voice shook with tears.

**_One last breath..._**

The tears from Hiei eyes slipped down his face, solidifying and landing on Yusuke.

**_One last tear..._**

Yusuke leaned up, kissing Hiei softly on the cheek. He fell back against the tree, too weak to stay close to Hiei.

**_One last wish..._**

"Be happy...Hiei...remember..."

**_I let go of it all, and just..._**

"I love you...Hiei...my...Hiei..."

**_Fall..._**

Yusuke's eyes slipped shut; his breathing slowed and stopped, his heart beat once more before all was silent in the night. Silent except for Hiei's soft sobs.

_I let myself fall into a lie._

_I let my walls come down_

_I let myself smile and feel alive._

_I let my walls come down._

_No matter how I try I don't know why you push so far away._

_You wrapped your hands tight around my heart and squeezed it full of pain_

_With this knife I'll cut out the part of me_

_The part that cares for you_

_With this knife I'll cut out the heart of me_

_The heart that cares for you._

_I can't believe the way you took me down_

_I never say the pain coming in a million broken miles_

_Like poison for my veins_

_With this knife I'll cut out the part of me_

_The part that cares for you_

_With this knife I'll cut out the heart of me_

_The heart that cares for you_

_With this knife I'll cut out the part of me_

_The part that cares for you_

_With this knife I'll cut out the heart of me_

_The heart that cares for you_

_The hate and the fear_

_The nightmares that wake me up in tears_

_The nightmares and the hate and the fear_

_The nightmares that wake me up in tears_

_The nightmares and the hate and the fear_

_The nightmares that wake me up in tears_

_The nightmares and the hate._

**Author's, monotonous, ever boring, completely useless, note: **Umm...looks around nervouslySo nice to be back again. What's it been…a year? Oh…little more huh? edges away from reviews I think that I'll leave everyone hanging around...wondering what I'm going to do next. shifting from foot to foot There is one more chapter, just to wrap things up finally, bring everything to a close. blinks, backing away slowly You have to read it...before you kill me preferably. It'll tell you what happens to Hiei and Kurama, and you actually will get to see what happens to Yusuke. edges closer to the door for a quick exit The song at the end is With This Knife by Smile Empty Soul...seems fitting though doesn't it? The poem that was in bold italics was written by yours truly (me) just for an occasion such as this. Anyway you should know the drill by now, 20 reviews or I don't update. Make me happy for a change, and I'll give you the finale you're all waiting for. Ummmm...bye. darts out the door before she can die

P.S. Happy New Year and all that jazz and thank you reviewers. You guys really kept me motivated into writing this fic. The **last chapter is done**, but I won't update until I get the lovin' that I need, so be nice and push the little button that says submit a review. Ja everyone.


	5. Internet Reboot

**Internet Romance**

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Any questions?? No, good. On with the story.

Chapter 5: Internet Reboot

His mind slowly found its way back into consciousness. The first thing he realized was that he hurt. It felt like there was a weight on his entire body, stopping him from moving, not like he wanted to anyway. He was comfortable even though he was in pain. The realization that he wasn't dead hit him like a gunshot. He wasn't dead...after everything that had happened, he still hadn't died. His eyes slowly opened and he found himself looking at a ceiling tinted with a pale pink light from a lamp that had been covered with a scarf to dampen the light intensity. He heard someone softly breathing next to him. Yusuke slowly turned his head, wondering who it was.

_Hiei!_ Yusuke gasped quickly, forgetting to remain quiet. He tried pulling his hand up to push the demon away, but found it trapped. Looking down he saw Hiei's fingers laced through his own, keeping a hold of his hand. Hiei, roused from his sleep by Yusuke's gasp and movements, slowly opened his eyes. His blood red gaze met the startle and scared, chocolate brown eyes of Yusuke. He opened his mouth to say something, but instantly found Yusuke's free hand over his mouth.

Yusuke glanced at Kurama's sleeping form on his other side before shaking his head at Hiei, silently telling him not to make a sound. Hiei slowly nodded, his hand tightening around Yusuke's. Sighing, Yusuke opened his mind to Hiei, letting him read his thoughts.

_Damnit Hiei, that's twice!_

Hiei looked startled. Not only was he surprised that Yusuke willingly let him into his mind, but he was also confused by his words.

_I've tried dying twice, and both times you stopped me!_

Hiei nodded slowly, not breaking eye contact with Yusuke.

_You hate me. Why do you keep saving me when all I want to do is die?! Is it so hard to finally let me have peace?_

Hiei nodded again, confusing Yusuke further.

_Why, damnit? Why not just let me die?_

Hiei's free hand came up from the bed. Conjuring a thread of fire, he wrote in the air his reason.

I love you Yusuke.

Yusuke's eyes widened. He was out of the bed and across the room in an instant completely ignoring his state of undress.

Finally shaken awake from sleep by the loss of Yusuke's body, Kurama groaned, slowly opening his emerald eyes. He sat up slowly, still half asleep, blinking and trying to figure out what was going on. His eyes landed on Hiei, who was crouched on the bed, ready to pounce. His gaze followed the path of Hiei's and soon saw Yusuke pressed against the wall, deathly pale and looking ready to run. He knelt next to Hiei on the bed, both watching Yusuke for any sign of him getting ready to bolt.

Yusuke pressed his body tighter against the wall, trying to keep his balance and not faint while watching Hiei and Kurama for any signs that they were going to pounce on him.

"Yusuke," Kurama whispered softly, trying not to alarm him.

Yusuke whimpered inaudibly and shook his head, not wanting to stay there any longer or hear what they had to say.

"He's not going to listen Kurama." Hiei's voice broke through the tense silence.

Yusuke's gaze flickered to the koorime, his eyes meeting with the fire demon's.

_Why did you save me? You have Kurama now, why not just let me leave?_

"I already told you why Yusuke."

Yusuke shook his head, both to reply to Hiei, and to clear his blurry vision. _No, it's not true. You hate me. You said so yourself._

"I didn't want to accept it. I didn't want to tell you."

Kurama sat on the bed, watching Hiei talk to Yusuke when the half demon hadn't said anything. He assumed Hiei was reading his mind, but he couldn't be sure.

_Liar. You love Kurama, and he loves you. I-I heard him tell you._

"You're wrong Yusuke."

_You don't need me here._

"I _do_ need you Yusuke. I always have." Hiei slipped off the bed, taking a step towards Yusuke.

_Kurama has you and you have him, neither of you need me._

"Wrong Yusuke. We do need you." Hiei took another step towards Yusuke, closing the gap little by little.

Yusuke shook his head, still in denial. It couldn't be true...

"It is true Yusuke."

Tears formed in Yusuke's eyes, but he didn't let them fall. He shook his head again, but this time only to try and get rid of the dizziness. He swayed slightly, unable to clear his head. Hiei was by his side instantly, there to catch him when his legs finally gave out.

Hiei's arms encircled his waist, catching him before he could hit the floor. He struggled weakly, unable to do anything but squirm in Hiei's arms. He whimpered in pain as his wrists were bumped, biting his lip to keep from crying out. Hiei gently pulled Yusuke's hands into his own, somehow managing to keep Yusuke in his arms. Kurama was by them in seconds, trying to calm Yusuke down.

Yusuke continued to struggle, trying to get away from Kurama while attempting to pull his hands from Hiei's grasp, all the while trying not to cry from the pain shooting through his wrists. It was the sight of Yusuke's blood slipping to the carpet that finally snapped both demons into holding Yusuke firmly against each other. He was seated in Hiei's lap with Kurama holding him in place and Hiei still gripping his now bleeding wrists.

"Leave me alone, and let me FUCKIN' DIE ALREADY!"

Kurama looked astonished at Yusuke's words. He froze, hands still keeping the struggling half-demon in place on Hiei's lap. Hiei rolled his eyes and growled deep in his throat as a response, apparently against that idea.

"Get over yourself and that idea Yusuke, we aren't letting you go any time soon if you still plan on killing yourself. So either sit still and stop fighting us, or I'll knock you out and tie you up. And you know I will."

Yusuke pouted, stilling his movements and shutting up. He clenched his jaw and blocked out Hiei from his mind, making sure neither teen holding him knew what he was thinking.

"You might as well start talking Yusuke, we aren't going anywhere until we knock some sense in your head."

"Yusuke please, talk to me?"

Yusuke just sent a withering glare at the redhead and turned his gaze away from the both of them. Hate and anger radiated from him, creating a barrier with his aura, though he lacked the raw power to keep them too far away.

Kurama flinched back, hurt by the hate directed toward him. He stood, pulling away from Hiei and Yusuke. Turning, he left the room before either could see him cry. Hiei, however, knew what he was feeling, and knew that he was indeed, crying in pain.

"I hope you're happy with yourself Yusuke. You made him cry."

"I hope you're happy Hiei, you and he drove me to suicide," Yusuke said, copying Hiei's voice perfectly as he mocked him back. "I don't care anymore. I think that latest brush with death cleared up my problems." He smirked. "Emotions really are for the weak. I learned that from you Hiei." He winced as Hiei's grip tightened around his still bleeding wrists.

"Right now Yusuke, you're in no position to say things like that. What happened that drove you to death?"

"In short, you. Happy now, you sadistic bastard? You almost had me gone. Right now, I'm weak enough for you to kill me. Get to it Hiei, before I get strong enough to take off again. I don't really have a reason to stick around."

"Shut up. Just listen to yourself. Where's the Yusuke I fell in love with, the Yusuke Kurama fell in love with?"

"Shut up and quit lying. Neither of you love me. If he had, he would have told me, and if you had, you wouldn't have hurt me as much as you have since I first met you! I wasn't the one with the problem with my emotions. I admitted a long time ago that I loved you. I waited, threw hints, prayed you'd notice me. Where did it get me? Heartbroken, more times than one. Then, when I finally think I can be happy with Kurama, you come in and take him away. I could have lived without you, I could have lived without him, but I can't live without both of you."

"Who said you would have to? I don't plan on leaving you, not when I'm finally admitting my feelings."

"I don't care. I'm not planning on staying. Not anymore."

"If you think I'm letting you go, you're wrong, and if you think Kurama will let you go, you're wrong again. Neither of us are letting you leave again. We love you too much for that."

Yusuke sneered. "Forgive me if I don't believe you. I guess the whole trust thing is a little meaningless to me."

"I don't give a damn Yusuke! I love you. Kurama loves you. We both love you. And we're not letting you go again."

Yusuke glared. "You said it. You _don't_ give a damn. And neither does Kurama. Go fuck with someone else's mind." He fought against the tears. He wouldn't show weakness to Hiei. Not to someone who had ripped his heart out against and again. Not to someone who was in love with another.

Hiei glared back. "You said you loved me. Was that a lie Yusuke?"

"I don't lie Hiei, but you've taken my heart and ripped it up so many times, it isn't worth it to put it back together."

"Your love must not have been true. That kind of love is always worth it, no matter the cost."

"You wouldn't say that if you had been through what I have. If you've had your heart broken and you affections rejected as many times as I have, then you can talk to me about what love is and isn't worth." Yusuke couldn't hold back the pain that he brought on by his own words. Hurt overtook the anger and hate in his aura and with it came the tears.

Hiei felt the drastic change in Yusuke's attitude. Guilt washed him not for the first time. He had caused Yusuke all this pain. Someone he claimed to love and he hurt him more than anyone else had. It hit him at how his behavior must have affected the half-demon.

"Yusuke…"

"S-stop it Hiei. I'm just tired…" A tremble shook his body. "Tired of everything."

"If you sleep…I sleep. I'm not going to let you leave me again." Hiei's voice softened as he tried desperately to make the one he loved listen to him.

"You don't love me Hiei. You love Kurama." Yusuke struggled weakly as Hiei lifted him up and carried him to the bed.

"Why are you so stubbornly convinced that I love Kurama?"

"You said so. You said that Roses acted more like the one you love. If Roses is Kurama…then you love him."

For the first time since he had found out that Night was Yusuke and Roses was Kurama, he thought of all they had talked about. Every little indication that Night and Roses had been people he knew, and he berated himself for not seeing it sooner. "You didn't act like you normally do…and neither did he. He acted so much like you…" The koorime gripped Yusuke's hand both to provide comfort, and to take it from the knowledge that the ex spirit detective was alive. "If I couldn't have you…I just wanted to be near someone who was like you. I never wanted to hurt you, Yusuke."

"How can I believe you after everything that's happened? You make it so hard." Yusuke offered a heartbroken smile. "I never could stay mad at you." He pulled Hiei in for a hug. "Forgive me…" he whispered.

"Why…?" Hiei didn't even finish his sentence before his vision turned dark.

"That's why…" he murmured. He had taken Hiei's energy so he'd have strength. He looked around for clothes and spotted some, hoping they'd fit. The shirt was tight in the shoulders, but he managed. He turned a sorrowful gaze to Hiei, slumped over on the bed, and couldn't help moving him under the covers. He brushed a soft kiss against coral lips, relaxed into an almost smile in sleep.

"I'm sorry Hiei…" He glanced at the door and almost went out to see Kurama…but couldn't. He didn't want to see the redhead after Kurama had confessed his love for the fire demon, but not him. He slipped out the window and dropped to the ground, hoping Kurama didn't sense him.

Suddenly grateful for the energy he had 'borrowed,' he got out of there as fast as he could unnoticed. He made it outside, but had nowhere to go. Kuwabara would probably call Kurama. Genkai most likely wouldn't let him stay. Where…? Keiko's parents.

They knew about him, what he had been through. They would keep the others away, at least for awhile. The shop was closed, but Yusuke knew where the key was and slipped in, shutting and locking the door behind him. He walked up the stairs, bypassing the one that creaked, and stepped out into the living room. Not much had changed and he sighed with relief as he dropped to the squishy couch. He grabbed a blanket and pulled it over himself, hoping the Yukimuras wouldn't wake him until after 7:00 a.m., giving him about 4 hours of sleep.

Yusuke got his wish. At 7 exactly, Mrs. Yukimura gently shook his shoulder. Bleary brown eyes slowly opened and met with softer, lighter brown.

"Good morning Yusuke."

"Morning. What time is it?"

"7, same time as always."

"Thanks for letting me stay."

"You know you're always welcome here. Come eat and we'll talk."

**Whatever happened to Hiei and Kurama??? **

The house was too quiet. All noise from the upstairs had ceased. Kurama, while still very upset, had calmed some. He knew Yusuke didn't know everything, he couldn't, so he knew the half-demon was acting in a way to protect himself from an assumed threat. Still though, Kurama couldn't help but feel hurt at the way Yusuke had reacted to him.

The silence in the house changed. It was as if everything around him knew a secret, but he was left out. It left the redhead disturbed. He slowly walked up the stairs and stopped by his bedroom door. No sound emerged from behind the closed barrier. He slowly opened it and hoped Yusuke would be calmed down. Instead of Hiei comforting Yusuke, the fire demon was tucked in the bed and Yusuke was no where in sight. Kurama tried not to panic when he realized Yusuke could be anywhere or…NO! He wouldn't think like that. Before he did anything else, he had to wake Hiei up for help in searching for Yusuke. The fire demon didn't budge. What had Yusuke done to the koorime? Hiei's energy level was zero. _Yusuke…_ The spirit detective had taken the fire demon's energy and had escaped that way. _Smart…_ Kurama transferred some of his energy to the koorime. Slowly, ruby eyes opened, blinking hazily in a slight daze.

Comprehension dawned, and with it came anger, frustration, and anxiety. He was worried…where had the ex-spirit detective disappeared to? Was he still…? No, he couldn't think like that!

"Hiei, he's gone. I don't know where. He took your energy and ran."

"It'll run out soon, especially since I used most of it to save him. We'll be able to track him when he loses the ability to cover his energy." Hiei sat up and realized he was tucked in the bed. _Yusuke…_ His heart ached with sadness. Legs touched the ground and he almost collapsed. He was weaker than he thought.

Kurama caught the petite body. "I only gave you enough energy to wake up. Yusuke drained you of what little you had."

"Damn…Kurama we have to find him."

"Do you think you can draw your energy from him?"

"Not without the possibility of hurting him."

"Then we wait till morning. We'll check his house, Kuwabara's, Genaki's, anywhere he's likely to be."

"I don't like this Kurama. I don't want to wait." Hiei took a shuddering breath. "I'm worried about him."

"Sleep. We'll go after him in the morning. By then, we should both have our power back."

"Reluctantly, Hiei nodded and then crawled back in the bed. Despite his tension and reluctance to sleep, he was out before Kurama could turn off the light. Kurama climbed in next to Hiei but made sure to leave plenty of room between them. Hiei had made it clear while Yusuke had been sleeping that his heart belonged to the Spirit Detective. Though he had hinted that he could come to love the fox as well. Only time would tell, but first, Yusuke had to be found. Kurama was asleep almost as he hit the pillow.

**OK, enough Kurama and Hiei…Back to Yusuke**

Damn, but he was tired. Yusuke sighed. He knew he should have stayed at the Yukimura's, but no, he wanted advice and then after, to disappear. At present, he was on the way to Yukina's house after visiting Kuwabara's as well as Genkai's to give his farewells before vanishing without a trace. The ice apparition always knew how to cheer him up, and she gave good advice. He sighed, why the hell did she have to live so far away?

**Back to Hiei and Kurama**

Sun peaked in through a slit in the curtains and just happened to land directly on Hiei's face. His eyes clenched tight just before they slipped open. The petite fire demon found himself entwined on Kurama's bed with the redhead. Though his heart belonged to Yusuke, he couldn't help a slight attraction to the fox. He fought a blush as he poked Kurama in the side.

Forest green eyes twitched but didn't open. Pale arms pulled Hiei closer to him. The koorime stifled a surprised yelp and poked harder, completely unable to get rid of his blush. Emerald eyes snapped open in discomfort at being woken up and then focused…right on a very red fire demon's face.

Kurama jumped away, releasing Hiei as he looked around in confusion.

"Do you always get so clingy when you sleep fox?"

Pale skin brightened as blood rushed to Kurama's face.

"Never mind. Get ready to go. We have work to do." Hiei moved away and slipped out of the bed, grabbing his cloak from a chair nearby. He glanced at the still blushing redhead, who was now sitting up and looking very guilt stricken. Hiei sighed. He hated seeing Kurama so upset. "It's fine Kurama, but I want to see things through with Yusuke. If he decides to stay with you, I'll fight for him. But, if he refuses to decide…I could live with that."

Kurama still looked guilty, but it had lessened. Slowly, the redhead nodded, proving he understood what the koorime was trying to say. "Let's just fine him."

The two demons were outside in a matter of minutes, discussing how to find Yusuke.

"Split up. You go see the idiot. I'll go to Genkai."

"I'll go see Keiko's house too. Maybe he went there. He still stays in touch with them."

"Go Kurama, and don't worry, we'll find him." Hiei's gaze softened just slightly, enough to comfort Kurama, as he nodded before flitting off to Genkai's temple. The redhead cast a worried glance in the direction Hiei had gone before going in the opposite direction towards Kuwabara's house.

The fox demon sighed as he stood in front of Kuwabara's house, highly doubting the very loud teen would be up. Kurama shrugged and knocked, deciding that if the teen refused to get up, he probably could come up with someway to get him up. Surprisingly enough, the door opened, showing a sleepy but still mostly away Kuwabara.

"Hey Kur-Kurama," the orange haired teen yawned out. "What brings you here so early? We got…we got a mission?"

"Morning Kuwabara. No, there's no mission, but I am looking for help. Is Yusuke here?"

Kuwabara straightened up and suddenly looked more awake. "Not now. He was here about an hour ago or so. Why?"

"I'm afraid he's going to do something stupid."

"Nah. He just stopped by to tell me he was leaving for awhile."

"Where is he?"

"Sorry Kurama. I can't tell you. He made me swear I wouldn't."

"You have to. He's already tried dying once and he's most likely going to try again."

Kuwabara winced. "I can't. It's a blood oath." He rolled up his sleeve to show the small cut on the back of his wrist. "But I can tell you he went to see the Yukimura's. He wouldn't make them take an oath. Try them."

"Thanks Kuwabara. I'll make sure nothing happens to him." Kurama took off, not bothering to go at a mortal speed, but instead at his youko's speed as fear and anxiety took over his emotions.

**And now Bob, back to Hiei**

The koorime stopped. He could almost sense Yusuke. The half-demon was just out of reach, much like a sight just outside peripheral vision. He strained to pick up the location, but failed, and ended up continuing to Genkai's. He stopped outside the temple, shouting to the spirit master inside.

"Genkai!" Anger got the better of him. "Old woman, get out here!"

"Shut up Hiei. I'm old, can't I be left in peace?"

"Where's Yusuke?"

Yusuke's former teacher looked up at the mention of her pupil's name. "Why do you ask Hiei? Last I heard from him, you hated him. Why so curious now?"

"He tried killing himself and I think he's going to try again."

"Doesn't surprise me, the way you treat him and all. Not to mention, he blames himself for Keiko's death."

"Aren't you worried?!"

"I'd be lying if I said no, but I can't watch over him forever. If he's in so much pain because of you, that he'd rather be dead, the so be it. I'd rather he pass on than be haunted by a love that will never be returned because the one he loves hates him to no end."

"I don't hate him. I'm trying to find him to get him to listen to me and Kurama. I have to make him believe I love him. I've almost lost him and I won't let that happen again. Help me or not old woman, but I will find him." Blood red eyes glared hatred.

A calm gaze returned the glare, calculating and making her decision. "He told me he was going to train. Said he needed to be stronger…to forget."

"Where damnit?!"

"He didn't say, but…"

"What do you mean he didn't say?!"

"He didn't say, BUT…he'll need herbs…healing herbs is he's going to the Makai."

Hiei quickly caught on. Yukina. The koorime not only could heal, but also made herbal remedies for lesser injuries and for those who were forbidden from seeing such things as healing, namely almost all humans in the realm who didn't posses spiritual power or didn't know they possessed them. He nodded before disappearing from the temple in search of his love.

**And Now back to Kurama**

Kurama couldn't help but put all his hopes in the Yukimuras. He could only pray they knew where Yusuke was and if so they would tell him. He didn't want to think about what would happen if he and Hiei couldn't find Yusuke. He stopped to take a look at the house Keiko had once lived in and couldn't help but wonder what things might have been like had she no been killed. Putting aside the what-ifs, Kurama hurried to the door, knocking as soon as he was in reach. Moments later, it opened, revealing Keiko's mother.

"Kurama?"

"I'm sorry to bother you. Is Yusuke here?"

"No, he left earlier to train."

"Do you know where? I really need to find him. It's important."

Pleading emerald met a cool light brown that slowly softened. "He told me not to talk if you came by, you know?"

The redhead looked borderline panicked. "I have to find him. I don't care what he said. It could be life or death."

"Come in Kurama. We'll talk about what I know."

"But…"

"In!"

Kurama wisely shut up and followed the normally quiet lady.

**And we're off…to Yusuke**

_Almost there. Another hour and I'll be at Yukina's._ "Such a pain that Hiei didn't have more energy. I could use it. All I can hope is that I keep enough to mask my energy…" He thought for a moment. "And now I'm talking to myself. I seriously have lost it." Too lost in his own thoughts, he missed the speeding ball of fiery energy heading towards him.

**Hiei needs attention**

The fire demon concentrated. It was faint, but he could just feel Yusuke breaking into his mind. He caught small flashes of the half demon's thoughts and emotions. From what he heard, Yusuke was planning on disappearing after visiting Yukina. The only good thing about his thoughts was that he wasn't thinking of suicide any longer. He was scared and unsure, and was trying to find a way to protect himself. Hiei understood what the half demon was doing, and finally reached his decision, the only way to get the teen to listen. He knew it was a long shot and if it backfired, he'd lose Yusuke forever, but as he at last locked onto Yusuke's energy and location, he knew he had to try. Keeping his youki hidden, he raced through the trees, coming ever closer to his future.

**And now back to my Kurama channel**

"I'm going against my better judgment and Yusuke's wishes by talking to you."

Kurama couldn't help but look confused and slightly relieved. "Why are you then?"

"Because I know he's wrong. He doesn't want you to find him. He doesn't want to see either you or Hiei. You know you hurt him with your actions, don't you?"

The redhead looked depressed. He knew only too well how much he had hurt Yusuke, someone he had claimed to love.

"Did you even tell him your feelings?"

"Of course! I love him. Why wouldn't I?"

Mrs. Yukimura knew differently, courtesy of Yusuke. "Think back. Did you ever actually say the words to him."

Her words shut Kurama up as he seriously thought about what she had said and then in turn, thought back to his time with Yusuke. "No I never told him. I thought he knew how I felt about him, how I feel about him."

"With everything he's been through, don't you think he'd need to hear it? He may be your leader and the strongest fighter ever, but that doesn't mean he's strong in everything. Even the toughest fighters can be brought down given enough time." Mrs. Yukimura placed her hand on the redhead's shoulder and offered a kind smile before disappearing to the kitchen to leave Kurama to think for a moment.

He could he have been so careless, so thoughtless…so stupid? He knew what Yusuke had gone through and what he was like because of it. He should have known from that, that Yusuke needed vocal reassurances as well as physical assurances to feel secure.

"Are you done beating yourself up or should I leave for a little longer?"

Kurama looked up. "Nowhere near done, but I have to leave. I'm going to contact Hiei and see if he's found him yet. If he has, I'll wait until they return home. If not, neither of us will stop until we find him."

"I wouldn't worry too much. He'll show up or be found when he's ready, even if he doesn't realize it himself."

The redhead nodded his understanding, showing a weak smile of thanks as he was walked to the door. As if a switch had been flipped, Kurama sensed Yusuke's energy. "Thanks," he mumbled before taking off.

_Hiei…_

_I know, I'm almost with him._

_Can you reason with him?_

_Maybe, but if not, I have a last resort._

_Don't do anything drastic._

_It's drastic, but it may be the only thing that will work._

_Just…make sure you both come back alive._

There was a long pause before Hiei answered. _I'll try._

Kurama felt the connection end and Hiei's energy disappear, knowing he was masking it from Yusuke. He sighed before heading home to wait for the two he loved to return. Exhaustion and relief overcame him as he reached his house and as he entered his room, where the three of them had slept soundly, he fell to the bed, asleep almost instantly from the emotional anxiety he had been experiencing.

**To Hiei and as a result, Yusuke**

He had finally caught up with the spirit detective. He was running through the forest towards Yukina and then, presumably, Makai. Yusuke stopped by a stream to relax for a minute. He grabbed a drink of water when he had the chance, giving Hiei the opportunity he needed. He took it…and pounced. He knew it wasn't the best way to approach him, but at the present time, he couldn't think of another way without scaring him off.

"What the…" Yusuke landed with a thud, his breath momentarily knocked out of him.

"You didn't think I'd come after you did you? You thought I'd let you walk out of my life after everything that's happened?"

"Hiei…" He was shocked to say the least. He had hidden his energy to make sure he was unseen by the koorime and kitsune, and yet here he was, the Forbidden One perched on his back. All resistance poured out of him and he lay supine beneath Hiei. "Why won't you let me leave? I wasn't trying to kill myself, I just wanted out for awhile. I can't…deal with this…you…right now." It had just been so much to deal with so he didn't. He let it go and didn't care about what happened anymore.

Moving with a grace only he could pull off, Hiei flipped Yusuke over and stared down at the spirit detective with a look indecipherable to any but himself. Crimson bore into chocolate. "I can't lose you again. I won't. I love you. If you want to disappear, take me with you. We'll disappear together. Just don't…don't leave me again Yusuke." Tears came unbidden to his eyes as he laid his head against Yusuke's chest and he let them fall. They slipped out and formed the most beautiful stones. More so that even his sister's as his emotions filled every last trop. He couldn't hold back the tide, didn't even try but let go completely when he felt Yusuke's arms go around his waist. He had finally captured his love, and he wasn't letting go ever again.

An hour slipped by with neither speaking. They just relaxed and enjoyed each others company, knowing they were both alive. The silence couldn't last forever though.

"I can't stay Hiei."

Residual anger sparked… "Why?"

"I don't…I can't…" Yusuke sighed. "I'm afraid to trust you. Once bitten twice shy."

"Damnit!" Hiei sat up. "What do I have to do to get you to believe I love you? Short of dying for you, what is there?"

"I can't Hiei."

The koorime looked saddened and then reluctant. Before he could change his mind, he leaned down and kissed his beloved. Yusuke struggled but the fire demon refused to let go. His tongue brushed over closed lips, gently until they reluctantly parted and the body beneath him stopped fighting. His tongue slipped past to search the willing cavern. Slowly, Yusuke began to respond. Instead of merely allowing the kiss, he returned it. The koorime's aura flared, engulfing the half demon and coaxing him into responding. He hadn't wanted to force himself on Yusuke, but with the threat of him leaving, it was the only way to keep him, make him believe that he loved him. His aura worked as an aphrodisiac against Yusuke. Normally the teen would have been able to easily fight off the feelings brought on by the koorime, however with what he had been through, he was too weak to resist.

Sorry about this…but FF won't let lemons like this on here…so yeah. It was actually kinda graphic. Soory again.

His lips focused on the mark, body joined with his loves, and the knowledge that he had finally won his lover all combined to send him hurtling over the edge, biting into his mate's neck, finally making the last claim needed to bond them for life. His release pumped into Yusuke as he felt the emotional release from the half demon through the bond. He watched as his mate climaxed a second time from the emotional bond between them. Reaching his end, he collapsed onto his lover, panting, trying to come back to himself.

Contentment. Fulfillment. Love. Paradise. Yusuke knew he had died. He couldn't be alive after experiencing such pleasure and he knew he couldn't find such all consuming happiness while alive. His arms tightened around Hiei as his breathing slowly returned to normal. The koorime snuggled closer, softly licking at the mark on his neck that was now a permanent sight on his tan skin.

_'I love you Yusuke.'_

He jerked away from dreamland. Hiei hadn't spoken. He knew that because the koorime had yet to let up on his neck, and yet, he had heard the fire demon clearly.

"H-Hiei…how..?"

_'The bond.'_ Even in his thoughts, Hiei sounded deliciously sated, the tone matching his cat-that-got-the-cream look completely. _'We mated.'_

"But…" Yusuke looked adorably confused to Hiei as the koorime moved from his neck to his lay on his hands, folded across the half demon's chest to watch his lover.

_'Think something at me.'_

_'Mated?'_

Hiei had known that was coming. _'Mated.'_

_'But how?'_

_'The mark. I bit you.'_

_'Kurama did the same, but we're not mated.'_

_'You are, just not completely. Kurama bit you, and he made love to you, but not at the same time. For the bond to form, he'd have to bite you while making love to you. He didn't. I did.'_

_'Kurama…'_ Yusuke's contentment turned to anger. _'You didn't ask me! Now Kurama…'_ He looked ready to cry.

_'Stop it! The bond wouldn't have formed unless both of us wanted it. And no I didn't ask you. You would have refused immediately because of what you thought was the truth.'_

He rolled over and sat up, dislodging Hiei from his perch and moving him out of his body as he broke eye contact. He hissed at the koorime's exit, almost whimpering in loss. "You've taken away my choice. You didn't trust me to make that decision."

"I did and you took off. Again! How's that supposed to make me feel? I confess my love for you and the next thing I know, you're gone, with my energy. How am I supposed to trust you after that? And I _didn't_ take away your choice!" Hiei ended with a 'hmph' looking on the verge of tears.

Yusuke felt the koorime's emotions through the bond and knew he was telling the truth but he was confused by Hiei's last words. "How isn't my choice gone? I'm mated to you!"

"You can be mated to more than one person. Kurama loves you. He thought you knew that without him having to tell you. He only approached me because he thought he could make things right between us."

The half demon sat still for a moment. Two mates?! But…would Hiei go for it? Could _he_ go for it? Could he just forget what those two had put him through and move on? Where they worth it?

Confusion rolled down the bond to Hiei, letting him know how Yusuke was feeling. He also saw what worried him the most. "I can share. The fox loves us both, he won't mind. I love you and you love us…so I can handle having two mates. He can as well. Can you?" It was a challenge. A small one, but a challenge nonetheless, and if he knew his lover at all, he knew Yusuke wouldn't back down from a challenge. He was right.

Despite the pain that laced his backside, Yusuke hurled himself at Hiei, knocking the fire demon over as he grabbed him into a kiss. It was short and sweet, but fiery and held a promise. When it broke, Hiei was the one left seeing stars. "You're worth it. You both are. I love you first and foremost Hiei and that'll never change. So yes, yes I can handle having two mates, and yes I ca handle being shared between you two." Yusuke offered a bright smile, his earlier mood gone now that he had one mate and was going to have another, both of whom he loved more that anything else in the world. "When do we tell Kurama?"

"Now. Picture Kurama's bed in your mind. Use a little bit of energy and we should be there. Given your new power, you should be able to take us there instantly."

"I don't have that kind of power."

"I've looked through your heritage. When a member of your family mates, they gain powers, one of which is the power to jump dimensions or from place to place. Now move it. There's a kitsune waiting to see you…us."

With a small smirk and a thought later, _I'm sure that's all he wants,'_ they were in Kurama's bed, surprising the life out of the fox when they landed on him in a heap.

"Told you so."

"Shut up Hi-ah!" Kurama had pounced on him, almost knocking him off the bed. Then the world tilted, spun, and then stopped. They had apparently fallen off the bed, landing with Yusuke on Kurama, the redhead clinging for dear life to him.

"Yusuke…I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry. I can't believe I could have acted like I did! Do you hate me?" The kitsune continued on, oblivious to the fact that Yusuke had tuned out and was listening to Hiei's taunts in his mind.

Growing annoyed, Yusuke hissed down the bond to Hiei before slamming his lips down against Kurama's to shut up the kitsune's rambling. After enjoying a quick kiss form the kitsune and a surprised silence from Hiei, he pulled back. "Now…can I say something?"

The redhead nodded mutely, still trying to breathe normally while the koorime just pouted because he didn't get a kiss. To get his revenge, Hiei sent a few choice images from their time at the river as well as a few ideas.

Yusuke turned red as the thoughts slipped through his mind. _'Not now Hiei,'_ he groaned, making the koorime smirk. Kurama looked confused at their behavior until he caught sight of the mating mark adorning Yusuke's skin. He couldn't believe Hiei would do such a thing. He threw a tear filled glare at the koorime before turning away, thought still pinned down with Yusuke still straddling his waist. Hiei saw the glare and couldn't help but probe at Kurama's mind, easily learning what was wrong.

_'He's seen the mark. He thinks he's lost you.'_

Not exactly taking the time to think things through, Yusuke leaned down and claimed another kiss, the second being sweeter, but held more emotion in it. When he pulled back, Kurama refused to meet his gaze.

"Kurama?" He received no reply from the redhead. "Kurama?" he asked again in an unsure voice. When he again received no response, Yusuke decided to take drastic measure like Hiei had. He growled softly and leaned down, biting into the kitsune's neck. When he pulled back, he glared at the stunned fox. "Listen to me Kurama." He received a small nod from the redhead. "I love Hiei." Kurama flinched. "You already knew that. You've seen the mark on my neck, so you know we're mated." Another small nod. "You think you know everything, but you don't. Here's something you didn't know. Hiei's gonna share." Forest green eyes widened. "I told you before that I loved you too. Did you think I lied, that I'd move on and forget you so quickly?"

Green eyes looked down as pale shoulders shrugged. He looked like a puppy that had been kicked one too many times.

"God Kurama, you know better. That's why I told you about Hiei. I knew I wasn't going to forget him or move on. It stands to reason that if I love Hiei and I'm not moving on, then if I love you, I won't move on. For such a genius, you can be clueless, baka kitsune." Yusuke reached up and pulled Hiei down to join them from his silent watch on the bed. "And that goes for you my fire baby." Before the koorime could protest the nickname, Yusuke had them all in the bed, tucked under the covers. "Now sleep already. I'm tired and need the rest. When we wake up, me and Kurama'll mate, then we go from there." Tucked safely between his mate and mate to be, Yusuke drifted off, one arm at least touché ding his lovers. Meanwhile, the other two stayed awake.

"You mated with him?"

"I told you it was drastic…" he stated matter-o-factly.

"But mating with him?! We could have lost him for good."

"It worked _and_ he's going to mate with you…you have no room to complain."

The kitsune decided to be stubborn. "I could have lost both of you…"

"Baka kitsune…" Hiei leaned over his sleeping lover to gently kiss Kurama. Unfortunately-or fortunately-Yusuke decided to shift, moving Hiei closer to Kurama, almost landing in the fox's lap. While his body didn't, his hand found his way between the fox's legs, brushing softly against a growing hardness there. They broke the kiss, Kurama moaning softly when Hiei squeezed his hand gently around his steadily growing member. "I told…you so…" Hiei managed between kisses and panting.

"Told me…wha-Hiei!"

"Shh baka kitsune, you'll wake Yusuke." Hiei smirked as he regained his unraveling control. "I told you I could live with sharing. I find you attractive. I consider you a good friend and I may be falling for you…" He smirked at Kurama's reaction before pulling him in for another kiss. Just as things could have gotten out of control, meaning clothing was becoming tight below the waist and loose to the point of falling off above it, Yusuke growled and sat up, glaring.

He pulled his lovers apart and gave each separate looks before sighing. He leaned over and gave Kurama a fiery kiss that easily could have moved to other things before switching to Hiei to give the koorime the same treatment. Pulling back, he smirked at the dazed look on their faces before laying back down, pulling them down with him, away from their previous position of being kneeled on either side of his hips, lip locked. "Sleep now, sex later." He mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'horny freakin' demons,' before drifting off again, arms locked tighter around his lovers so they couldn't have a repeat performance.

Hiei and Kurama shared an amused smile before lacing their arms around Yusuke and finally falling asleep, despite being 'horny freakin' demons.' Finally they had what they were looking for.

**Author's, monotonous, ever boring, completely useless, note: **Well…that's that. It was a good run while it lasted. You know you loved every second of it…okay maybe not when you thought Yusuke was dead, but still, besides that, it was good and you can't deny it. It's the most serious fic I ever done and the longest, so hopefully it had a good enough plot and that I kept everyone on their seats with the cliff hangers. Okay…that's all folks…

………………………………

**GOTCHA **

You ought to know me by now…Like I'd leave off without finishing up the fic. I mean seriously…I've been saying I've never written a 3-some before and that this would be my first one. Now what would a 3-some story be without a 3-some lemon in it…now one with the story.

The three slept through the rest of the day, all night, and through to the following evening. Yusuke remained asleep the entire time, needing the rest to regain his strength. Kurama and Hiei had both awoken up separately before going back to bed. When Yusuke finally awoke, it was to a happiness he never thought he'd have. But then again, for some reason he was floating. He looked down, eyes widening in horror when he saw his body still on the bed.

_'Oh no…not again! But…I can't be dead! Not now!'_

A familiar giggle reached his ears and he spun around, only to be greeted with the sight of Keiko.

_'Keiko?! What are you doing here?'_

_'Botan said I could take you to spirit world since we were so close while alive.'_

_'But…I'm not dead! I can't be!'_

_'You've been trying so hard to die, and now, when you finally achieve it, you don't want it? Can't please you at all can I?'_

_'But, I was alive. And I'm happy. And I don't want to leave. And…'_ Yusuke trailed off as he looked at his form on the bed. His _breathing_ form. _'Keiko…?'_

_'Yes Yusuke…?' _A faux innocent tone he had long learned to ignore as true.

_'Why am I still breathing if I'm dead?'_

_'…Hmmm…cause you aren't dead.'_

_'What?!'_

_'You assumed. I never actually said you were dead. I'm just borrowing your spirit for a moment.'_

_'If you weren't dead…I'd kill you for this! I don't know what I'd do if I really had died.'_

_'Probably kill Koenma unless he put you back in your body.'_

_'Damn right I would, I'm finally happy. I found what I was searching for.'_

_'I know, that's why I'm here. You're ready to let me go…to say goodbye.'_

His spirit sighed. _'I was holding on to you because I hadn't found my happiness and that's the one thing you had wished for me to have. How could I let you go when I couldn't grant your wish?'_

_'But you are happy. You have those two to make sure you stay that way.' _She smiled. _'I knew you'd be happy someday. It was just the when that I didn't know.'_

_'Thanks Keiko.'_

_'Don't thank me yet.'_ She drifted to the bed, moving over to Hiei. _'Listen up Hiei. You better take care of Yusuke. I'm trusting you with him. Be gentle, he's been through a lot.' _To Yusuke's surprise, Hiei nodded. Keiko smiled and moved to Kurama. _'The same goes for you Kurama. Take care of him. Make him happy. If you don't…I'll haunt you.' _Kurama nodded as well, clutching a little tighter to Yusuke's form.

Above Keiko, Yusuke couldn't believe it. She was acting like a mother…or a controlling and protective ex-girlfriend. _'Keiko!' _he hissed. _'I can't believe you did that.'_

_'Don't worry, they'll think it was a dream.'_

Yusuke sighed. _'I'm gonna miss you Keiko.'_

_'I know, but I'll be watching. Maybe someday I'll visit again. Goodbye Yusuke Urameshii. Take care of yourself.'_

_'I will Keiko. I will.' _Keiko faded from human world, slowly returning to the spirit realm as Yusuke fell back into his body, knowing he was finally at peace. When his eyes opened moments later, it was for real. He felt the heat from either male on both sides and knew he was home, and as such, he decided suddenly, _'I need a welcome home…party…'_ Yeah right. He wiggled out from between his lovers and slid off the bed, ending up at the foot, staring at his boyfriends. Such a weird term. They were so much more than boyfriends. He smirked…he was their wake up alarm. Making his decision, he jumped into the bed, shaking his lovers so close to the edge, both fell off.

A red head appeared over his side of the bed, a sleepy glare on his face as he focused on the grinning teen in the bed. Hiei on the other hand, didn't bother getting up. He just started yelling curses at Yusuke through the bond, making the receiver cackle insanely, drawing weird looks from Kurama.

"Man can Hiei curse. He's better at it than me."

The kitsune look confused as he crawled back onto the bed next to his lover. Yusuke rolled over, bending over the side of the bed to grin cheekily at his fiery lover, giving the redhead a perfect view of his butt. _'And what a cute butt it is too…'_ Kurama smirked as Yusuke was tackled backwards by an angry fire demon, though he was sure it was a false anger.

"And what, pray tell, is gained by waking me up…?"

"Playtime." Yusuke didn't bother waiting for a response. He pulled his lover down for a quick kiss before turning to Kurama for the same. "Now aren't you glad you got up?"

"Hn." Hiei pouted while Kurama looked deliciously kiss tousled.

"You're right…I'll just go back to sleep. Night!" Before he had a chance to roll over, Hiei was straddling his waist and Kurama was perched behind him. "Well now…isn't this a change of pace. Someone seemed to have a change of heart. Sure you don-mph." Hiei caught the teasing detective in a kiss, making sure there was no mistaking what he wanted. He slipped to one side of the detective, Kurama to the other as the kiss broke. Using small tricks, they managed to keep Yusuke from coming out of the daze Hiei's kiss had put him in. Kurama's hands were joined by more delicate and petite fingers as Hiei helped distract Yusuke.

"You need to claim him still." Hiei's voice was a soft whisper so they wouldn't snap their lover out of his trance.

"Need to claim you too…" Emerald met ruby.

"Not yet. It won't be as strong because I don't feel that strongly for you yet." He flicked a pink nub, drawing a soft moan from his mate. "I can and will, but I don't yet. Bite me now, and the bond will start and have time to grow stronger for when you do claim me."

"If I bite you…can you still claim me when the time is right…or does it have to be done the other way?"

"Either way as long as there is a bond established." Kurama copied Hiei's action, enjoying the soft sound of their mutual lover's pleasure. He leaned towards the koorime, their lips barely brushing before taking a soft kiss. He marbled at the softness of the fire demon's petal lips, gasping suddenly when he felt a probing tongue at his lips, allowing it an entrance it accepted hesitantly. Kurama returned the kiss, pouring his heart into it, delighted when he heard a small, almost inaudible groan from the koorime. He broke the contact, trailing kisses down to the pale neck that beckoned to him. He licked his chosen area softly, sucking when he found Hiei enjoyed it. He hesitated, but when the koorime tilted his head to the side, Kurama couldn't resist and bit down, taking in the hiss of air from Hiei. Licking and sucking apologetically until his neck stopped bleeding, Kurama moved back up for a kiss, all hesitation gone as he plundered the willing territory, drawing a moan out of the koorime. Unfortunately, while kissing, they had forgotten about Yusuke, who was back to his senses and enjoying every second of it.

"Wow…you guys are hot together…" he mumbled, regretting his outburst when his lovers almost jumped apart. He immediately pulled them down to his level, giving each a quick kiss on the cheek. "Hey now, don't be like that." Even with Yusuke's words, both still looked guilty. "What's wrong you two? Just because I'm in the middle doesn't mean you can't touch each other. I wasn't kidding, you guys are hot together and I won't have you two acting awkward around me or each other because of the kiss. Sooooo…kiss and make-up, and yes, I mean literally. Don't give me that look!" Hiei looked to be in shock and Kurama wasn't far behind. Both still had an air of guilt around them. Yusuke had to think of a way to make them feel better. "Think of it as a way to apologize then. And it better be a real kiss, no cheating me of a good show." Yusuke grinned cheekily when emerald and crimson glared lightly at him before turning a hesitant gaze to each other. Seeing the reluctance between the two, Yusuke again thought of a solution.

"Come here fire baby," he whispered, pulling Hiei down to him again before the koorime could protest. "You too kit," and he coaxed Kurama down as well. "Now be good boys and kiss me."

Hiei's look said 'At the same time,' and was mirrored in kind by Kurama. "Yusuke…" the redhead started.

"No buts and yes at the same time. If the only way to get you to believe me is to show I care for you both, then I will. And I'll do it my way." A stubborn glint filled his eyes and he pulled them both into a slightly awkward three-way kiss, licking both their lips in appreciation of them. The moment Hiei responded, Yusuke took advantage, plundering the fire demon's mouth for his own. Kurama hesitantly joined and was instantly attacked by the spirit detective who easily dominated the kiss. Surprising the kitsune, Hiei tentatively added his two cents, tracing his soft lips with his exceptionally hot tongue. While they were caught up in the kiss, Yusuke gradually pulled back, making sure to placate one or the other as they noticed his movement away.

As he eased back, Yusuke was glad to find the other two still lip-locked. Satisfied they were more sure, more comfortable with one another, his hands started wandering, tracing the mark on Hiei's neck, gently flicking at Kurama's ear, anything to make sure they stayed the way they were with each other. He hadn't been lying. They really did look hot together. Yusuke began to develop a small problem that wasn't so small. He shifted slightly, bringing the others out of their kiss, much to his (and their) disappointment.

Kurama looked more than slightly dazed while Hiei's eyes were half lidded and practically glowing red. They couldn't have looked more tempting. Then his brain figured out they could…sans clothing. Smirking at his ingenious thought, Yusuke pinned Kurama to the bed in a heated kiss while divesting the fox of his clothing. Once completed, he turned his chocolate brown eyes to Hiei who almost looked ready to back away.

"Oh, no you-oomph!" Yusuke tackled Hiei off the bed, taking comforter and koorime both off the comfy structure and down to the floor where he began nibbling on Hiei's neck while undoing the many belts, then taking off the shirt followed closely by the form fitting pants. _'Commando love? How cute…'_ He avoided a swat to his head by jumping back to the bed, only to be pinned down by a horny kitsune out for a little pay back. Ah, life was sweet.

"Hey Kurama…something you wanted?"

"You, naked, is at the top of my list."

"What about Hiei, naked?" He nodded towards the ruby eyes peeking over the side of the bed.

"That's up there too," he murmured, emerald taking in bare shoulders and a chest that was revealed as more of the fire demon appeared over the edge of the bed.

While Kurama was slightly distracted, Yusuke flipped the kitsune over, only to have the tables turned when Hiei tackled him off Kurama and returned him to his previous position, lying on his back on the bed, however Hiei had replaced Kurama as the demon straddling his waist and lower stomach.

"And you Hiei? What is it my fire baby wants from little ol' me?"

"_'Little'_ is something you're not Yusuke." Yusuke smirked while Kurama couldn't help but laugh at Hiei's words.

"And you'd know from experience wouldn't you…" He rolled his hips upward, grinding his erection against Hiei's firm bottom, drawing a delighted moan from the fire demon and a pouting look from Kurama. "What's wrong kit? Feeling…neglected?" he teased as his hand shifted sneakily across the bed to grab a certain part of the redhead's anatomy that had the fox blushing as he let out a pleased moan.

Sorry again…This spot here actually had the much awaited three some. Anyway, go off to mediaminer and look for me there That's where the full version is. Sorry again.

Eventually they floated back to themselves. Yusuke fell to the side, Hiei landing behind him while the fox turned to face the half-demon, keeping him between his mates. Kurama could feel and hear Yusuke in his mind, felt the inner peace and happiness he had found. Hiei felt it too and they shared a look, both promising to keep him happy for the rest of their lives, both as humans and then as demons when the time came. And as they shared their gaze, a feeling passed between them and they knew they'd be mating soon as well. They had found their happiness, vowed to keep him and in the process, found the missing pieces in their lives. They were, as sleep claimed them, finally complete.

**Author's Note: Alright people. I'm finally done. I do hope this chapter was worth the wait. All in all, this story 88 pages long and had 40952 words, not including authors notes or replies to reviews. This is my first completed fic that I'm actually proud of. I really hope you enjoyed reading. Congratulations to Mediaminer by the way. They won the competition 27 to 6. I hope my readers enjoy their prize. I'm sorry about the competition, but it seemed a good idea at the time. I'd get reviews and my readers would get the chapter faster. I probably wouldn't have updated for another year, so this actually was a good idea. My deepest apologies but I thank everyone who has reviewed. I'm sad to see this fic end, but you never know what I'll come up with next. Check out my other fics if you liked this one. All my love to my readers (even those who don't review). Ja.**

**EvilAngelBB**


	6. Chapter 6

**Internet Romance**

Ok, just to let everyone know (because I have been getting requests for it) you can find links to the uncensored versions of all of my stories on my profile. So, click my name, then scroll down until you see the part of my profile that has links. Yu Yu Hakusho will be located either at the mediaminer cite or at adultfanfiction. You choose. Please enjoy them and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review if you do go to see them

ALL MY LOVE TO MY READERS MERRY CHRISTMAS!


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